Excerpt from: "Together Now"

"It is sometimes easier to live in the fantasy of another then to face reality head on." Warren said to the shrink that was quietly taking notes.

"Why do you think you feel that way?" She asked with a cold and dead stare directed to Warren.

"I don't know. Maybe because I moved out here to do something with my life and it hasn't happened yet? How about when I go home my friend is generally in some $@#%ed up situation that I inevitably have to deal with? Those could be some of the factors. At least I would think." Warren replied with a bitter and disdainful undertone.

"Okay, what is it that you want to accomplish here in L.A.?"

"To write professionally and make my mark."

Warren sat up and faced the shrink. There was something sexy about her non-attachment. It made him feel both uncomfortable and welcome at the same time. He quickly looked down at his hands.

"Do you write?" She asked in her non-emotional voice.

"I do. I have. The few gigs I did get out here have proven only to be one time deals. It's a little depressing." Warren said looking towards his hands he nervously rubbed together.

"What was the breaking point that brought you here?" The shrink asked, only this time Warren looked up at her. He could have sworn there was a faint tone of compassion in her voice.

"How did I get here today, or how did I get to California in the first place?" He asked with some slight confusion.

"Why don't you start at the beginning." She retorted.

***

The day was mundane. It was cookie cut just as the previous day was. Warren felt like throwing the knife he just dropped on the floor into the dish area. He quickly re thought the idea. Knowing his lick a server would walk into the kitchen just as it left his hand and find a mark deep in their neck. He walked over and placed it on the stainless steel counter.

“This isn’t what my life will amount to. It just can’t be.” Warren said quietly to himself.

“What can’t be?” Anne asked him in an angry sort of tone.

“Nothing. Just self reflecting.” Warren replied bitterly.

Anne dropped off her dishes and exited through the swinging door back out front. Warren returned to his self loathing position on the line. It was just another day. Filled with everything he hated about himself and everything he wanted to change. He was a writer and he knew it. Warren needed to get away.

***
Anne liked to $@#%. She was born to spread her legs and have fun. Serving provided an income but wasn’t what she was good at. $@#%ing was her calling and $@#%ing on film would grant her money as well as job satisfaction.

Her and Warren had a short lived fling when she arrived at this soul crushing hellhole, yet was interrupted by both of their ambition to push the other away.

Such as life. They both wanted self destruction and fun. It was, (so to speak), in both of theirs genetic make up. Anne knew this from the moment they met. The torment and anguish both of they felt was almost unbearable. She wanted him, yet always seemed to push him away.

It was really Warren’s fault however. Warren with all his smooth talking and easy going personality! Anne hated him for that. This is the underlying reason they could never be together.
Anne walked into the kitchen and asked quite bluntly:

“What are you doing tonight?”

“I don’t know, going home and getting drunk by myself and think about why I still exist?”

“How about if we did something together this evening? I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

Warren pondered the question as if Anne had an ulterior motive behind this. After a long pause he agreed.

On the hi-way to a little town that was an hour and a half away, Warren lit a cigarette.

“So why the sudden want to hangout and go on a hour and a half long trek to a different town for a cup of coffee?” Warren asked slyly.

“I don’t know. I felt like doing something adventurous for a change. I don’t know if you noticed but we are into each other but haven’t been able to break our barriers.”

“Yeah, I have actually.” Warren replied while handing her the cigarette. “Are you telling me that you have a thing for me Ms. Anne?”

“Not really. I just feel we need each other.” Anne laughed slightly. She knew they would eventually push each other away and still felt way to $@#%ed up over the last guy she fell in love with.

“How so?”

“I don’t know. We just work well together. We make a great team.”

“Agreed, but why do you think it will last?”

“Because no matter what we go through, we rely on each other. That’s what will make us blessed.”

“So what are you getting at?” Warren asked curiously.

“I think we should run away together.” Anne said without a second thought.

Warren laughed. “Yeah, okay. Where are we going to run to? Neither of us has much money.”
“We’ll go to California! I’ll become a porn star, and you will become a writer!” Anne stated this like it was fact. However when planning to run away anywhere, one should not be so certain about anything.

***

Warren had resumed his lounging position on the couch and continued the story.

"2 weeks later we just packed up and left. No one knew we were leaving and no one knew where we were going." Warren reminisced.

"Sounds like you 2 are in love." The shrink suggested.

"No. Actually far from that. We're just in this together now. Don't get me wrong, we do occasionally $@#%, but neither of us feel anything about it afterwards."

"Have you two ever had a falling out?" She asked with a genuine interest in her voice.

"Yeah. 3 days before we left I fell into a pretty dark place..."

***

Warren sat across from Anne at the all night diner. Anne prodded Warren a bit, trying to make conversation.

"So... What's got you down?" Anne attempted.

"Nothing." Warren hissed in a venomous tone.

"You lying. I always know when your lying."

"Good for you."

"Jesus, why do you have to be such a dick?" Anne snapped.

"Look Anne. I hate myself. I never feel like I am going to accomplish anything and I, for some reason, want to get married and have kids! I don't know why I'm feeling this way but I do. Just leave me alone for right now." Warren exploded.

"Well if by hate yourself you mean love yourself than yeah I agree! You are not the only one that gets depressed you know! Maybe you would see that you bring other people down with you when you get into these lulls! I'm going to the washroom." Anne countered with all the anger she could muster up. She got up and left for the washroom.

***

"I wasted no time in putting my jacket on and paying our bill and leaving." Warren finished.

"I bet she got mad didn't she?"

"You sir, are correct. I tried to apologize to her over the phone and through email, but she ignored me. On the third day at work I wrote down that I was leaving that night after I was off and if she was still in that she should be ready as well."

"That's really romantic! I bet she forgave you after that!"

The shrink now seemed positively captivated by Warren's story of how he came to California. She encouraged him to keep going.

"Well we didn't really talk much for the first three hours of the trip here..."

***

The road was endless. The darkness provided Warren little comfort. All sorts of doubt crossed his mind. He even considered turning around and heading home. He glanced over at Anne a few times and was met with the back of her head. The only sound came from the radio. Everyday is exactly the same by Nine Inch Nails came on.

'How fitting.' Warren thought.

Somehow he felt like he should be the one to break the silence, but was unsure how to bring up and resolve the fight they had 3 days prior to this bold and ludicrous venture.

'Guess that's what I get for befriending a girl with bi-polar disorder.' Warren's inner dialogue nagged.

"So what was your really problem the other night?" Anne blurted out. This caught Warren off guard.

"I don't know. Just everything has been getting me down lately, and you seemed like you were ignoring me at work the other day all day. That really got to me." Warren confessed. A step in the right direction.

"Are you serious? I thought you were mad at me! That's why I didn't talk to you much."

"Well I am sorry about the other night. It's the last time I'm going to say it because I know it doesn't really mean anything."

"Your right, it doesn't. This however proves it. You are willing to just up and leave with me. I know you have your doubts, but I truly believe this will help both of us work out our demons." Anne stated sincerely.

Warren was just glad they were talking again...

***