You Drink & Blog. You Lose. An English Essay

Andy Johnson

A.J. Mittendorf

English 103, C02

October 4, 2009/ Journal 3

You Drink & Blog. You Lose.

The way alcohol works is quite an ingenious thing, in and of itself. It has led me down some interesting paths. Most memorable time being my twenty-fifth birthday when I was drunk and lost in the woods. I saw a Sasquatch. Swear to whatever God you believe in! This is not what this essay is about, however. Sadly, my fresh six pack of idea’s was lost in the mail from Synecdoche, Quebec, Canada. Today’s topic (fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how much you enjoy my writing) is about my blog. (The mechanics of writing a blog is a somewhat difficult practice, yet with a little alcohol, an imagination and some sort of marketing gimmick, you too can have your very own internet space to write about nothing!)

The first thing I did when I started my blog was go hangout with a friend for beers. At first the conversations were a little less than small talk and way too much about Warcraft. After about a case and a half of beer was consumed, we began discussing our future plans. Naturally I cut my friend off in mid sentence as I stated that I would one day be a great writer. This went on for around half an hour. Finally my friend had enough of my delusions of grandeur and suggested I start a blog. Being drunk and highly suggestible, I did!

When I got home I sat on my computer and stared at the blank screen for fifteen minutes. (This is almost the perfect amount of time to remember what it is you are trying to do while you are intoxicated.) The memory hit me! I was starting a blog! Now, whenever you are about to start anything, it is highly suggested that you do your research! I personally don’t have the time, or motivation to go on such a venture when something important comes into my life. I need it done now! Blogger was the first blogging site on my returned search for blog sites, Blogger it was! I raced through my online application with as much agility and coherent thought that someone who is completely inebriated could and got my account activated! (I don’t really remember this step to well as it is now a drunken blur, but I am sure that you won’t have a problem with it.)

The next thing I did after my account was activated was to post something. I am a very sloppy writer when it comes to grammar and punctuation, so my first post reads something like this: Itss realy erly and I am compleetyl drunk. I jusst set this acount up and hase noe idea how offten my possts will be made avalibe for all of you my beloved readerws. In retrospect I should have probably edited it a little more before I posted, but I figured that the editing feature would have caught most of my errors. As it turns out you actually have to do the editing yourself. Stupid technology!

Anyway, after these steps are complete, the most important task is next. This task is your layout and content. The way your blog looks should visually inspire the theme of your content. My is set up sort of like a newspaper page. (I find newspapers to be boring, yet familiar.) Your content should than be able to mirror your content. What is your content supposed to be about? How should I know? It’s your blog, do whatever you want! Mine has three main features; Editorials, Celebrity Emails (which is basically me making fun of celebrities) and serial stories. Yours could be about vaginas that have butterfly wings for all I care, just as long as your layout and content have the same feeling.

These few meager steps may --most of the conclusion to this How-To guide was also lost by the same negligent mail person that misplaced the idea for this essay. If anyone has seen the original idea or conclusion for this or any other essays, please post a comment on www.awarrenjohnson.blogspot.com-- So next time you are blogging drunk, please blog responsibly.

"Together Now" Excerpt 6

The heat woke Warren up. There is something to be said about the sticky Californian heat. His head rang in time with his alarm clock. Warren looked over bleary eyed at Anne on the other couch. She just rolled over and didn’t seem to notice the alarm.

Warren reached over and turned it off. He stretched out on the love seat and sat up.

‘Relying on the kindness of strangers is awesome.’ Warren thought.

The night before had been one of drinking debauchery at the expense of other peoples wallets. Today however was a day to get into gear. If he was going to write professionally he needed to start doing it immediately!

He threw on one of the three pairs of jeans he had brought with him and his black dress shirt. He felt more like a writer already. He then grabbed the card out of his wallet to set up a meeting with Borden. The phone rang twice before Borden answered.

“Hey Borden.” Warren greeted him warmly. “What do your plans look like for today?”

“Just got a meeting with a hack writer who wants to write screenplays, however he never writes anything interesting, it’s always some sort of adaptation about some emo/goth who can’t get laid. I guess it’s supposed to be artistic or something like that.” Borden replied.

“Well would you care to get together after that and see if you would want me as a client?” Warren asked very bluntly.

“Sure man! I’ve been wanting to hear the story of how you came to Cali. Canadians I’ve always found to have interesting stories. Is 2:30 work for you?” Borden asked.

“You bet. Where are we meeting?” Warren asked trying to contain his excitement.

“The bucks on east main. It’s my favorite location.” Borden stated.

“All right, Borden. Sounds good, I will meet you there.” Warren said finalizing the meeting.

“Excellent. Later Warren.” Borden said.

“Later.” Warren repeated hanging up.

Warren was excited by this turn of events, now all he had to do was figure out how to get to the Starbucks on east main and he would be all set!

***
Anne awoke to find she was home alone. It was 1:30 and she felt mildly hungover. She wondered where Warren had gotten to. She was feeling a little frisky and wanted to congratulate Warren in a very intimate manner.

‘Oh well. He’ll be back, then I can have my way with him.’ Anne thought deviously.

She got up and headed to the bathroom.

‘Maybe he’ll come home and take me in the shower.’ She thought as she started her shower.

Anne undressed and stepped into the shower. As she washed her hair she questioned why she was having these thoughts about Warren all of a sudden. She couldn’t quite place the reason. Thoughts like: ‘Maybe we’ve been friends for so long that this is the natural progression.’ And ‘If we ended up married?’ Kept crossing her mind.

Anne never thought this before and felt confused about why she started now. She wondered how Warren felt at this very moment.

***

Warren felt lost. He had made it to the Starbucks Borden had instructed him to be at, and he was sitting across from Warren, but Borden was actually a really hard person to follow in a business conversation.

“Okay so what my firm needs is someone that can write an original idea. It has to be along the same lines of a network show, but we need it in a feature format. That Goth kid has been let go from our firm, so now it’s up to you to step up Warren. You want a shot at being a writer, this is it, I like you, and even if this doesn’t work out I still want to talk to you, but just don’t fuck this up.” Borden spit out without so much as a breath.

‘Goddamn, Borden is an amazing speaker!’ Warren thought.

“So what are some of your ideas?” Borden asked finally Warren including him into the conversation.

“Well I have this one screenplay I wrote when I was working the kitchen circuit back home. It’ll need to be revised for what you want though.” Warren said.

“Great! I want a look at it tomorrow. As long as it’s a draft we can send editors in on it and have them do the re-writes. You won’t have to worry about a thing.” Borden stated.

“One thing you should know about it though, Borden is that...” Warren started.

“It doesn’t matter what it’s about as long as there is some sort of story.” Borden said cutting Warren off.

“That’s just it, it’s not like a traditional story. The antagonist is the restaurant and the anti-hero is a shift leader, and there are something like 8 different story lines going on at the same time...” Warren again tried to explain.

“Don’t worry, the editors will make it work. You still get the credit, and I make 10 percent. Trust me, as long as you produce something, it doesn’t matter if it’s any good.” Borden reassured Warren.

“All right. So... This is sort of an important question, how am I supposed to work for your firm without a Visa?” Warren asked nervously.

“Don’t worry about that, Warren. There are ways around it. Just because you are here writing, doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to live here. You can claim that you wrote it in Canada and you were just up here for a meeting. The only down fall of this is that you will have to go back to Canada to cash your cheque.” Borden explained.

“Well... That may be a little more difficult then that. See I sort of got jack. She took my wallet and then the cop I got pulled over by impounded my car.” Warren confessed.

“Don’t worry, Dreamscape will take care of all that for you. Just make sure to have that draft into me by tomorrow. You may also want to start writing something else. That short little three sentence story would be great. Write it, make it real and then drop that draft off.” Borden suggested.

“Done! So can I ask you for a huge favor?” Warren asked.

“Sure.” Borden replied almost immediately.

“Would you be able to give me a ride home?”

***

"Together Now" Excerpt 5

The day was hot and sunny. As was yesterday. As tomorrow will probably be. The events of the past week were starting to feel like a some distant and bad dream.

Warren and Anne were shambling along a boardwalk. The vendors and street performers seemed relentless and never ending.

“Do you think it was worth coming here?” Warren asked Anne doubting his presence in California.

“Of course it was! You’ll be a writer and you’ll be great! I have faith in you.” Anne beamed to Warren as she grabbed his arm and wrapped it around hers.

“What about your career as a pornstar?” Warren countered with yet another question.

“I don’t think it would be the best thing for me to do. I honestly don’t know what I want to do now, but I’m here. Your here. We’re going to make the best of it.” Anne said trying to comfort Warren’s mind.

Warren thought on this for a few minutes as they walked. He still didn’t feel great since he was accosted last week and just wanted to run home. He looked across the beach and saw happy families, thugs, beautiful women and overweight, middle aged men.

While Warren was busy in his head, he ended up running into an alpha male type. The guy spun around and sized up Warren’s frail frame.

“Hey! I know you!” The guy said to Warren.

“Yeah? From where?” Warren asked in a somewhat non-enthusiastic tone of voice.

“You write that blog don’t you?” The guy asked excitedly.

Warren laughed slightly and started getting into the conversation a little more.

“Lots of people write blogs, sir. What is mine about?” Warren asked playfully.

“Your the one that writes about yourself like it was a story, aren’t you?” The guy asked starting to question whether or not he had stopped the wrong guy.

Warren raised his finger and pointed at the guy and said, “You sir, are correct.”

“I love how you write! I wanted to be a writer for a long time, but I never could figure out how to go about it. I mean I know how to write, I just have never been able to sit at a computer and write anything that anyone would enjoy.” The guy said.

“Well I will let you in on a secret, the trick to writing anything worth reading is strong characterization. Once you have that down it doesn’t matter what you write as long as the character is relatable to most people.” Warren stated.

“Your name is Warren right?” The guy asked.

“Yep.” Warren replied.

“I’m Borden. Who might this lovely young lady be?” Borden asked turning to Anne.

“I’m Anne. It’s nice to meet you!” Anne said with lustful intent.

“The pleasure is all mine.” Borden responded turning back to Warren.

“I think you should give me a call sometime. I’m always looking for some new talent.” Borden said handing Warren a card.

Warren accepted the card. He quickly looked it over, it read: Dreamscape Agency, Borden Janson, Publishing agent. The phone number and address were neatly placed on the lower right hand side of the card.

“Thanks!” Warren said speechlessly.

“Anytime Warren. I was wondering something though.” Borden said.

“What’s up?” Warren replied.

“Your blog said it was written in Canada. Did you just move to California?” Borden asked inquisitively.

“In not so many words. Yes. When I call you I will tell you the whole story.” Warren said.

“Sounds good, make sure to keep in touch.” Borden said.

“I will!” Warren beamed.

Borden and Warren exchanged gentries. Warren and Anne continued walking.

“See Warren, things are already looking brighter!” Anne enthusiastically stated.

“You seem to forget one thing Ms. Anne. We don’t have visa’s to work here, and my car is still impounded.” Warren said matter-of-factly.

“That will come, right now you should be excited that you more than likely have an agent! Let’s go celebrate!” Anne suggested.

“Your right. Let’s hit up this bar for a drink.” Warren said smiling at Anne.

***

"Together Now" Excerpt 4

“Honey, I’m home!” Warren said as he walked in the door. He shut the door and made his way to the bathroom. Anne was just shutting the door, she stopped when she saw him.

Warren’s left eye was black, and he had stitches. He also had a goose egg on his right cheek.

“How was your date?” Anne asked with shock.

“Well... It was more a series of misfortune really.” Warren responded while rubbing his right shoulder.

“Really? I couldn’t tell. Hold on a second, let me get a towel.” Anne said as she shut the door.

Anne came out of the bathroom wrapped in an over sized towel. It looked much more like a sun dress on her then a towel. Warren had made his way to the couch and laid down. Anne came over and sat by his legs and gently rubbed his chest.

“So what happened?” Anne asked.

“Well I went to the shrink’s office to pick her up. Her name I guess is really Tia.” Warren said not really making much sense. “Anyway, we walked around for about 2 hours talking. I finished the story of how we ended up here. Then, we got to a deserted boardwalk and she robbed me.”

“What? She did this to you?” Anne asked trying to hold back her laughter.

“No, no. It was at gun point.”

Anne no longer had the urge to laugh.

“But the story gets better.” Warren continued. “As you probably already guessed I don’t have my wallet right now. Anyway after she robbed me she took off down the boardwalk. I made my way back to my car. I start heading home when all of a sudden I get pulled over. Apparently I don’t know how to read miles because I got pulled over for driving to slow.”

“Sorry Warren, I need to go get clothes on. This towel just isn’t doing it for me.” Anne said as she got up.

“No worries. I’m not going anywhere.” Warren replied.

While Anne was changing she felt like crying. She knew that no matter what happened to her in life Warren would stick by her. He always seemed to know what to do to help her out. Save for when he was in one of his depressions. Then he was pretty much useless to everyone. She also would be there for him no matter what happened to him, but this situation she had no idea how to help him. She just hoped it didn’t trigger one of those depressions.

She came out of the bathroom in her Tweety bird shirt and jogging pants she had on earlier. Warren loved it when she wore that type of outfit. She looked comfortable.

“Okay so you got stopped by the cops, what happened after that?” Anne asked as she sat back down beside him.

Warren snickered a little before resuming the story.

“So the cop asks me for License and Registration, I explained that I was just robbed by a shrink and I was just trying to get home. He told me to step out of the car and made me take a Breathalyzer. Then I got to do all those fun sobriety tests even though I hadn’t been drinking.”

“So the cop fucked you up this bad?” Anne asked.

“No. He let me go, but impounded my car. So I guess I need to come up with $1500 US to get it back.” Warren replied.

“So how did you get beat up?” Anne asked confused.

“Well, on my way trying to just make it home I ended up running into our friend that I through out of here last night.”

“Let me stop you right there.” Anne said. “He was over here?”

“Yep. You don’t remember?” Warren asked concerned.

“No. I’m pretty sure he slipped something in my drink.” Anne said.

“So you weren’t drunk last night?” Warren asked sitting up.

“No. I had half a beer. I don’t remember anything really past that. Except you said that you were going on a date.” Anne replied feeling ashamed.

“Well, that camera in the corner isn’t mine or yours.” Warren said pointing to the camera set up in the corner. “I didn’t shut it off after he left. You could probably see what happened for yourself when you feel up to it.” Warren suggested to her.

“Yeah. I don’t want to see it right now.” Anne said looking down at her hands. “So you ran into that asshole?”

“I sure did. Well I guess technically it was him and 4 of his friends. Jesse came up and said: ‘Well, well, well. If it isn’t the writer.’ As you already know I tend to talk to much and all 5 of them rushed me. After they beat the shit out of me, I just rolled on my back and tried to piss them more, but they were done with me.”

“So that doesn’t explain how you got the stitches.” Anne pointed out.

“Well as cruel and strange as life is I met a celebrity! Not the greatest or by any means the best role model, but just funny that she stopped and helped me out.” Warren said.

“WHO WAS IT?” Anne asked raising her voice in excitement.

“Lindsay Lohan.” Warren said smiling and nodding.

“Really? I thought she was done in Hollywood.” Anne asked.

“Even so, she still is well recognized. On the way to the hospital I explained that we came here to live out our dreams and thus far have been met with hardship. When she found out I wanted to write, she sort of cringed and it appeared that she thought I wanted to write for one of those paparazzi magazines that are always by the tills. I assured her that I didn’t want to. Anyway, she brought me to the hospital and paid for my medical bill, it was eight hundred dollars just for six stitches! Then she bought me a coffee and drove me home.” Warren finally finished.

“Well I’m just glad your back.” Anne said hugging Warren.

“Me too.” Warren replied hugging Anne back. “Thanks for listening Anne.”

“Thank you for kicking that douche bag out last night.”

“It’s what we do Anne. It’s what we do.”

"Together Now" Excerpt 3

Anne woke up the next morning with a bad hangover and couldn’t remember the events of the night before. She looked over at the couch, but Warren wasn’t there. Anne knew that as soon as her head lifted off the pillow it would explode into a throbbing migraine.

Gritting her teeth she got up. Sure enough as her head came up the intense pain shot through what felt like everyone of her synapses. As soon as she tried to stand up, she immediately fell to her knees and began vomiting violently on the studio apartment floor. She wished Warren was there, he always made her feel at least a little better.

In mid heave she remembered something form the night before. She was at a coffee shop standing in line waiting for a cup of coffee when all of a sudden a guy began talking to her. Anne chatted back as not to be rude. The guy bought her a coffee, then suggested they go to a pub for a drink.

Warren and her both didn’t know anyone in California, so she decided that it would be a good way to make at least an acquaintance that they could both be friends with.

At the bar he bought her a drink. A pint of Canadian to be exact. She went to the washroom before she sat down with her new acquaintance. On her way back to the table a girl had tried to tell her something. Anne didn’t know at the time what it was, but thought it was just a greeting in California.

Anne remembered only drinking half of her beer. Everything else was blank.

“That bastard!” Anne said between heaves. That guy had drugged her. She hoped she didn’t do anything or go anywhere with him.

After about 10 minutes of being ill, Anne felt good enough to crawl to the bathroom to get cleaned up and get some water in her system.

She pulled herself up onto the counter and looked in the mirror. She was surprised to find that she looked much better than she felt. She also noticed that her clothes were different. She was in her Tweety bird tee-shirt and wearing a pair of jogging pants. She was to tired to care about how she got into these clothes at this point.

Anne made her way to the tub and began running a hot bath. She hoped it would make her feel better. She slowly undressed and eased her way into the tub. The sound of the water rushing into the tub and hitting the water already in the tub echoed loudly between her ears. The water against her skin did however feel good.

Around 15 through 20 minutes later she was startled by the door opening. Since she was the only one home she hadn’t closed the door to the bathroom. She moved as quickly as she could to shut the door. She hoped it was just Warren.

Another Excerpt from: "Together Now"

“How are we for time?” Warren asked.

“Actually it’s almost up.” The shrink said with a pout on her face. “However I would really like to hear the rest of the story, so how about I give you my number and you could finish it for me, possibly this evening?” She said while writing her number down.

As she handed him the card with her number Warren replied with: “Sounds excellent.”

“Bye for now Warren.”

“Later.” Warren said without looking back.

***

Outside of the building Warren pulled the card out of his shirt pocket and focused on it while he was walking. Unfortunately he ended up walking right into an old lady in a walker. The old lady was not impressed.

“You fucking asshole!” She screeched as she lifted her walker to hip height and swung back to hit him in the small of the back.

“Hey! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to... Oof!!” The walker hit it’s mark with much more power than Warren thought the old lady had in her. “I was just... HEY!” He exclaimed as she swung back for another hit.

“I don’t care what you were justing! Do you have any idea of how high my medical bills are already?” She struck Warren again. This time in the back of the leg.

“Actually no. I’m Canadian!” Warren said in pain as the walker then took a turn to his chest. “Jesus! Your just like my grand mother! OW!!!” The old lady had knocked Warren on his ass.

“That’s what you get you Canuck smart ass! Maybe you’ll pay more attention to where your walking from now on, because you sure as hell ain’t in Canada anymore!” The old lady stated angrily. She set her walker back into it’s proper position and began to hobble away.

Warren sat on the ground staring at the old woman. The sudden realization of not being in Canada had finally hit him. If he was in Canada, the chance of an old lady accosting him with a walker was almost none existent. He got up, put the card with the shrinks number in his pocket and headed back to the place him and Anne were illegally renting.

***
Warren walked into the studio apartment to find Anne getting filled out like an application on the couch. A Wal-Mart special DVD camcorder was set up in a corner recording. He walked over to the guy that was balls deep with in his friend.

“Can I help you?” Warren asked in a surprisingly calm tone of voice.
Not breaking his stride the guy replied; “Who the fuck are you?”

“Hey Warren!” Anne cut in. “This is Jesse! He’s big in porn right now!” Anne was cooing with pleasure.

“Not with that camera he’s not. I know porn standards, this douche is just going to post it on a website to make himself a quick buck.” Warren retorted.

That was enough to get Jesse out of Anne. Jesse stood up. He was by nobodies standard good looking. He had what could only be described as shoddy and extremely shitty tattoos that covered his body.

“So you think you know it all don’t you?” Jesse said to Warren.

“I know enough. Comes with being a writer. I watch a lot of porn, and I have never seen anything you’ve been in. That tells me your either a wannabe, or someone who couldn’t hack doing gay porn first.” Warren replied to Jesse trying to get a reaction. Anne lit a cigarette and sat on the couch. Warren glanced over at her, she was drunk yet again.

“I ain’t no faggot! In fact I think your the fag for bringing up gay porn!” Jesse stated heated. The blood visibly rushing to his face.

“Look, I appreciate you trying to make a few bucks from fucking my roommate, but I’m going to have to see the contract and release form for this production.” Warren stated even more calmer then he was before.

“Well... I don’t have them on me. I forgot them at the Starbucks where we signed them.” Jesse said with less aggression.

“Okay let’s see your STD report. You at least have to have one of those on you, every porn actor does.” Warren said crossing his arms and tilting his head to the side.
“I don’t have my wallet it on me, but it’s in there.” Jesse said trying to be confident and failing miserably at it.

“It’s time you leave.” Warren suggested while gathering Jesse’s clothes and putting them in his arms.

“Can I just...” Jesse started.

“No. Goodbye.” Warren said leading him to the door.

“But...”

“No.” Warren replied while opening the door. He gently pushed Jesse out.

“Hey my...” Jesse started again.

“B-bye.” Warren said condescendingly then shut the door.

Warren turned and looked at Anne. He hated seeing her like this. He was glad she didn’t get involved. He walked over to her and sat on the apartments couch.

“So he seemed nice.” Warren said trying to make light of the situation.

“He was going to make me a star and you fucked it up!” Anne said with building hostility.

“Anne. Your drunk, again. You didn’t sign a contract, or even a release form. That guy was not going to make you a star.” Warren logically stated.

“Well I need to start somewhere Warren! We’ve been here a week and all I’ve done is get drunk and haven’t wanted to go look for work.” Anne replied. She was on the brink of tears. Bipolar is a hell of a disorder.

“That would be because we can’t technically work here yet. You could go be a server for a while. I know it’s not the greatest thing to do, but it would be a starting point.” Warren said trying to give Anne some help.

“But that’s why we ran away for! So we could live our dreams! Not so we could rot in yet another restaurant in the US! Goddamn it Warren! You at least write! I’m sure it’ll be easier for you to get on somewhere and do what you want to do!” Anne replied. The hostility returning.

“Keep in mind I’m in the same situation as you right now. The only difference is I’ve left the apartment for more then a few hours this week. Anyway, I have to get ready. I have a date this evening.” Warren said getting up and heading to the bathroom.

“A date?” Anne asked.

“Yeah, it was the weirdest thing! I felt a little discouraged today and went to one of those drop in counseling centers and got asked out by the shrink!” Warren replied form in the bathroom.

“I bet your going to fuck her.” Anne said morosely.

“That’s the plan.” Warren responded with a mouthful of toothbrush.

“I hope you do, but just so you know I’m not going to come bust in on you.” Anne said with her head down staring at the burnt out cigarette butt between her fingers.

“I know, probably because I’ll be at her place.” Warren quickly replied.

“I’m just saying that I wouldn’t crush your dreams. I’m just wondering why you felt the need to crush mine.” Anne rhetorically asked as she put the butt in the ashtray.

Warren emerged from the bathroom. His hand dropped away from his toothbrush and hung loosely in his hand. He walked back over to the couch and sat next to Anne. He put his arm around her naked body.

“Look Anne. I’m not going out with this girl to try and become a writer. She’s a shrink. I know you want to be a porn star, but your not going to attain that by fucking every guy with a camcorder that comes along. I’ll help you look for work tomorrow. Real work, not some seedy fuck with a 200 dollar camera.” Warren said to Anne sympathetically. “Just rest and relax tonight okay?”

“I will. Thanks Warren.” Anne said smiling at him.

“No problem. You help me get through tough times as well. Like it or not, we’re in this together now.” Warren said getting up. “You should also get an STD test, that guy looked like a drowned sewer rat!”
***

Excerpt from: "Together Now"

"It is sometimes easier to live in the fantasy of another then to face reality head on." Warren said to the shrink that was quietly taking notes.

"Why do you think you feel that way?" She asked with a cold and dead stare directed to Warren.

"I don't know. Maybe because I moved out here to do something with my life and it hasn't happened yet? How about when I go home my friend is generally in some $@#%ed up situation that I inevitably have to deal with? Those could be some of the factors. At least I would think." Warren replied with a bitter and disdainful undertone.

"Okay, what is it that you want to accomplish here in L.A.?"

"To write professionally and make my mark."

Warren sat up and faced the shrink. There was something sexy about her non-attachment. It made him feel both uncomfortable and welcome at the same time. He quickly looked down at his hands.

"Do you write?" She asked in her non-emotional voice.

"I do. I have. The few gigs I did get out here have proven only to be one time deals. It's a little depressing." Warren said looking towards his hands he nervously rubbed together.

"What was the breaking point that brought you here?" The shrink asked, only this time Warren looked up at her. He could have sworn there was a faint tone of compassion in her voice.

"How did I get here today, or how did I get to California in the first place?" He asked with some slight confusion.

"Why don't you start at the beginning." She retorted.

***

The day was mundane. It was cookie cut just as the previous day was. Warren felt like throwing the knife he just dropped on the floor into the dish area. He quickly re thought the idea. Knowing his lick a server would walk into the kitchen just as it left his hand and find a mark deep in their neck. He walked over and placed it on the stainless steel counter.

“This isn’t what my life will amount to. It just can’t be.” Warren said quietly to himself.

“What can’t be?” Anne asked him in an angry sort of tone.

“Nothing. Just self reflecting.” Warren replied bitterly.

Anne dropped off her dishes and exited through the swinging door back out front. Warren returned to his self loathing position on the line. It was just another day. Filled with everything he hated about himself and everything he wanted to change. He was a writer and he knew it. Warren needed to get away.

***
Anne liked to $@#%. She was born to spread her legs and have fun. Serving provided an income but wasn’t what she was good at. $@#%ing was her calling and $@#%ing on film would grant her money as well as job satisfaction.

Her and Warren had a short lived fling when she arrived at this soul crushing hellhole, yet was interrupted by both of their ambition to push the other away.

Such as life. They both wanted self destruction and fun. It was, (so to speak), in both of theirs genetic make up. Anne knew this from the moment they met. The torment and anguish both of they felt was almost unbearable. She wanted him, yet always seemed to push him away.

It was really Warren’s fault however. Warren with all his smooth talking and easy going personality! Anne hated him for that. This is the underlying reason they could never be together.
Anne walked into the kitchen and asked quite bluntly:

“What are you doing tonight?”

“I don’t know, going home and getting drunk by myself and think about why I still exist?”

“How about if we did something together this evening? I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

Warren pondered the question as if Anne had an ulterior motive behind this. After a long pause he agreed.

On the hi-way to a little town that was an hour and a half away, Warren lit a cigarette.

“So why the sudden want to hangout and go on a hour and a half long trek to a different town for a cup of coffee?” Warren asked slyly.

“I don’t know. I felt like doing something adventurous for a change. I don’t know if you noticed but we are into each other but haven’t been able to break our barriers.”

“Yeah, I have actually.” Warren replied while handing her the cigarette. “Are you telling me that you have a thing for me Ms. Anne?”

“Not really. I just feel we need each other.” Anne laughed slightly. She knew they would eventually push each other away and still felt way to $@#%ed up over the last guy she fell in love with.

“How so?”

“I don’t know. We just work well together. We make a great team.”

“Agreed, but why do you think it will last?”

“Because no matter what we go through, we rely on each other. That’s what will make us blessed.”

“So what are you getting at?” Warren asked curiously.

“I think we should run away together.” Anne said without a second thought.

Warren laughed. “Yeah, okay. Where are we going to run to? Neither of us has much money.”
“We’ll go to California! I’ll become a porn star, and you will become a writer!” Anne stated this like it was fact. However when planning to run away anywhere, one should not be so certain about anything.

***

Warren had resumed his lounging position on the couch and continued the story.

"2 weeks later we just packed up and left. No one knew we were leaving and no one knew where we were going." Warren reminisced.

"Sounds like you 2 are in love." The shrink suggested.

"No. Actually far from that. We're just in this together now. Don't get me wrong, we do occasionally $@#%, but neither of us feel anything about it afterwards."

"Have you two ever had a falling out?" She asked with a genuine interest in her voice.

"Yeah. 3 days before we left I fell into a pretty dark place..."

***

Warren sat across from Anne at the all night diner. Anne prodded Warren a bit, trying to make conversation.

"So... What's got you down?" Anne attempted.

"Nothing." Warren hissed in a venomous tone.

"You lying. I always know when your lying."

"Good for you."

"Jesus, why do you have to be such a dick?" Anne snapped.

"Look Anne. I hate myself. I never feel like I am going to accomplish anything and I, for some reason, want to get married and have kids! I don't know why I'm feeling this way but I do. Just leave me alone for right now." Warren exploded.

"Well if by hate yourself you mean love yourself than yeah I agree! You are not the only one that gets depressed you know! Maybe you would see that you bring other people down with you when you get into these lulls! I'm going to the washroom." Anne countered with all the anger she could muster up. She got up and left for the washroom.

***

"I wasted no time in putting my jacket on and paying our bill and leaving." Warren finished.

"I bet she got mad didn't she?"

"You sir, are correct. I tried to apologize to her over the phone and through email, but she ignored me. On the third day at work I wrote down that I was leaving that night after I was off and if she was still in that she should be ready as well."

"That's really romantic! I bet she forgave you after that!"

The shrink now seemed positively captivated by Warren's story of how he came to California. She encouraged him to keep going.

"Well we didn't really talk much for the first three hours of the trip here..."

***

The road was endless. The darkness provided Warren little comfort. All sorts of doubt crossed his mind. He even considered turning around and heading home. He glanced over at Anne a few times and was met with the back of her head. The only sound came from the radio. Everyday is exactly the same by Nine Inch Nails came on.

'How fitting.' Warren thought.

Somehow he felt like he should be the one to break the silence, but was unsure how to bring up and resolve the fight they had 3 days prior to this bold and ludicrous venture.

'Guess that's what I get for befriending a girl with bi-polar disorder.' Warren's inner dialogue nagged.

"So what was your really problem the other night?" Anne blurted out. This caught Warren off guard.

"I don't know. Just everything has been getting me down lately, and you seemed like you were ignoring me at work the other day all day. That really got to me." Warren confessed. A step in the right direction.

"Are you serious? I thought you were mad at me! That's why I didn't talk to you much."

"Well I am sorry about the other night. It's the last time I'm going to say it because I know it doesn't really mean anything."

"Your right, it doesn't. This however proves it. You are willing to just up and leave with me. I know you have your doubts, but I truly believe this will help both of us work out our demons." Anne stated sincerely.

Warren was just glad they were talking again...

***