Lollipop Chainsaw

Suda51  X-Box 360, Playstation 3

The zombie sub-genre of horror movies has finally reached the last leg of its ten year span, parody. In Suda51's latest release "Lollipop Chainsaw" the player takes control of Juliet Starling, a stereotypical cheerleader, all-American eighteen year old girl, who battles hordes of undead with her highly accessorized chainsaw.

The introduction provides a lot of background about Juliet, but also does a decent job of explaining certain items and characters that are featured in the game. Lollipops are used for health regeneration, while her boyfriend (at least in part) can be used as a secondary weapon. While most of the characters introduced provide Juliet various new main weapons, or power-ups.

The story (written and adapted by James Gunn) begins with Juliet rushing out of the house to meet her boyfriend Nick at school. On the way Juliet begins to encounter zombies. Once Juliet does meet up with Nick, he is bitten by a zombie and is decapitated by Juliet in a very Evil Dead 2-esque fashion. From this point on the storyline keeps getting stranger, and really is what makes "Lollipop Chainsaw" an enjoyable experience.

The gameplay seems to be a throw back to retro gaming, as most of the game's pattern is enter a room, kill all enemies, sometimes destroy debris, head to next area, rinse, repeat. This is good for story progression, as it means the player will not have to wait too long between plot points; however, it does severely limit exploration in the world. This is too bad since the levels all look like they were intended to be open and erxplorable, but for whatever reason were limited to a linear path.

One of the oddest differences between levels in "Lollipop Chainsaw" is the breakable items. While this may seem like an odd gripe, it still warrants a note. In the prologue, items that can be broken is very limited. Usually it is an obstructing item that is required to be destroyed, and yields no zombie medals (the games currency). In the High School level, almost everything is breakable, sometimes yielding zombie medals, and sometimes not. Yet, after the High School level, the breakable items are once more extremely limited.
Every level has mini-game portions, some of which are fun, and some that are annoying. The fun games range from running over zombies with a combine harvester to a few 8-bit styled games. Mini-games that are not so much fun usually include Nick.

The controls are easy enough to learn, although there are combo moves that can be purchased similar to those found in fighting games such as "Mortal Kombat," or "Street Fighter." One of the more humorous aspects of the combat system is the star power up. When the star power meter is activated "Hey Micky" begins to play for a brief period of time. "Lollipop Chainsaw" also has a feature called sparkle hunting. This is activated when three or more zombies are killed in a single strike.

Overall, this game is short, roughly four to seven hours depending on individual gaming level. While the game does have its flaws, it is a fairly entertaining experience, although at times "Lollipop Chainsaw" feels like it would have worked better in a film format. Definitely a game worth owning, but wait until the price drops as it has low replay value.

Part of Your World

Only $1.99 per minute
(additional charges may apply),
must be 18 or older.

And most people don't read the terms
and/or conditions,
the fine print is always the same,
you're fucked one way or another.

Financially, or just physically
this is what happens,
and there is no happily ever-afters.

The 1-800 numbers now defunct,
for the stream-line, online,
while people meet their pictures
and meaningless words.

The disconnect in a city
of 80,000.
Walking around, texting
because it's faster
than talking.
Blame the technology
all you want,
but you're the one using.

Pay me in words, for the walking
while I drink my coffee
on a bench
well after you've gone.

And once more,
the connotations are implicit,
even in my dreams,
I am alone,
until next we meet.

Singing at the Bus Stop

Recently I have found myself on a Disney musical kick. This is definitely a strange kick to be on since no one can really relate to wanting to live on land from the ocean floor, or knows what it's like to be a lion wandering somewhere in the African plains, but there are two reasons for this kick.

1. The reactions from people around you. Since most songs in Disney musicals are situational, it is extremely fun to find yourself in a similar situation that Disney would portray and belt out a song from the appropriate film. For the most part, these situations happen in public. Sure, there will be a lot of odd looks, but it's surprising how many people you can get to sing along with you.

2. They are catchy and get stuck in my head. Like any good pop song, Disney songs are designed to get stuck in your head and generally singing them out loud tends to get rid of them (at least for me it does).

Pacific-Mountain Time

still behind the Metro,
we followed to Camelot.
"Great Rooms: Only Bar In Town."
And still I'm no further ahead.

In the Rockies,
a trail hiked 28 km.
Across that hanging bridge,
ones legs get cold in a kilt,
while building a fire
with the axe and wood provided.

It's not that I don't like nature, either,
but I like the rocks much better
than the view.

Surrounded by the high city walls,
in the winter are the mountains,
because the trails are closed
for the season. Besides, I like my car.

I can check in any time I please,
but I can never forget my computer,
or my phone.

In the Spring, I planned
and now that it is Summer,
I'm

Free Parking Project Requires Funding

Pete is always kicked to the curb. He lost the girl, his G.P.A. is down and has recently fallen into one of the most hated jobs of the general public: a parking attendant. 

Currently this project is in Pre-Production and is seeking funding.

'92 South Central

Back in '91 the mantra was,
"Fighting for the red, white and blue."
In the desert, the golden arches &
Whitney at XXV, were small at 14 hours away.

1 year later
"Los Angeles Policemen Aquitted for Taped Beating"
A six-part mini-series:

April 29- Panthers Assemble (Part 1 & 2)
On the intersection of Florence and Normandie,
a red truck stopped by a white in a blue state,
pulled and beaten by mob mentality.
Minutes pass, & Self-Employment is grounded
by a car stereo. Chest, Torso & Genitals
were painted black,
followed by Doogie Howser at 8:30pm.

April 30- Cosby
Quiet morning turned to heavy looting & violence,
firefights eurpt between Korean commuters & looters,
& a dusk-to-dawn curfew is in place.
"Anarchy will not be tolerated," Bush said,
while 2,000 soldiers took 24 hours to deploy.
The C-Platoon got into another firefight,
this time on 114th & Central.
Later that evening, the series finale of The Cosby Show aired.

May 1- Comes The Lawmen
 "People, I just want to say, you know, can we all get along?"
King pleads as he is puncteuated by his taped beating.
Re-enforcements arrive, 4,000 strong.
While buildings burn & 10, 000 troups are activated,
Green & Newton have been forgotten.
In the midst of concerts & events being shut down
by the "urgent need to restore order."
The TGIF line up started with Family Matters.

May 2- Command Decision
2,000 7th ID(L) 2nd BDE soilders,
a company of MPs from Ft. Ord
& 1,500 Marines converge
on Hunington Park (24 hours later).
13,500 to stop the breakdown
of Civil Order.
30,000 attend a peace rally.
A Federal Investigation is announced
in regards to Rod & Poe.
The Golden Girls: Home Again: Part 2 at 7pm.

May 3- Remnants
"The crisis is, more or less, under control."
Later That Day
"'Motorist Shot At Barricade'
Attempted hit and run suspect shot,
after trying to run over personnal of the National Gaurd."
Must have been Sunday, Murder, She Wrote was on.

May 4- To Rule Los Angeles
The curfew is lifted.
Official, the riot has come to an end;
off the record, looting & sporadic violence
linger for days after.
Blossom 2rd season finale at 7:30pm

(May 9th-27th bleed together.
Federal Troops were the first to pull out,
next was the National Gaurd,
finally the remaining syndrome.
Unsolved Mysteries aired 4 episodes.)

A recap 20 years later summed up the stats;
although the information had been previously avaliable:
Death Toll: 53
-10 shot by LAPD & National Gaurd
-2,000 injuried
Fires Set: 3,600
-1,100 buildings destroyed
_______________________________
Material Net Loss: $800 Million - $1 Billion

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EP 34

To understand the beetle-kill
in the PG Writing scene,
pick up the red phone which
hangs in the corridor

on a white wall.

At some point North,
the white label
reads, "Emergency
Phone 34," and I
wonder,

how many times
has it been used

when I was a child? 



4/23/12 happened.

What was the # and label and colour of their phone
when it stopped working?



A kid who
lost an arm,
while dancing w/
a broom at Rustad.

"Prince George is burning in slow motion."


Maybe this is why all of Jesus's lines are printed red.
(Please see the lyrics to 'Oh Canada').