Times, how they change!

The world is in one hell of a condition isn't it? I don't know whether to revel in the chaos or to cower in fear! The basic problem is this: We let this happen! It's staggering to think that we as a collective would let things get out of hand the way we did! However, none of it even matters.

What truly matters is that we are here now and if we want things to change we should probably get going on it! Dear reader, I don't plan on changing the world through my horrible grammar and even worse spelling. I instead plan on changing the world by changing your world views. If that last sentence made any sense to you, then your in the same head space I am.

I was listening to the news recently, (CBC is probably my all time favorite radio station), and I heard something that chilled me to the bone! Free speech being punished by assassination! That's a little harsh isn't it? I mean what is the point of free will if we are only free to believe what we are told to believe? This is really my biggest problem with the world at large.

God, (which ironically enough... Doesn't exist), gave us the gift of free will. In order to exercise free will all we need to do is to make a choice. What the choice is isn't what matters. It can be anything from smoking a cigarette to stealing a bag of chips. We tend to focus much more on the subject we decide on rather then the choice itself.

We have chosen to be corporate slaves. Just another number in a string of other numbers. Freedom of speech we have almost completely given up on by selling media outlets to corporations such as CNN and FOX. Both spread nothing but fear and disdain everyday to viewers worldwide. If you choose to watch them and choose to believe in the the stories ran, then you have indeed sold yourself and your rights out.

If on the other hand you choose to watch, then look out your living room window... Well then you probably have noticed that nothing is going on around you. You are in no danger, and there is no threat to your well being. This should make you question what the media is telling you.

Now this isn't a claim that disastrous things don't happen around us, there always will be. Life is a gamble you should be willing to take since, well, your alive! If you choose to pick up a gun and shoot up a school, then I think it's safe to say that you are not the most popular kid in school. If you do feel that way by the, you may want to make some friends. They tend to tell you when you are being irrational.

If you find that you are a sociopath, then why not pursue a career as a councilor? You may as well, I mean listening to peoples problems if you are not sociopathic would seem to me to be very much more draining then if you were.

I digress. I'm getting slightly off topic here and slipping into cynicism once more. The news isn't all bad dear reader. I also heard that the UN is launching an inquisition into the Bush administration! This inquest will apparently provide answers to everything from 9/11 right through to the methods and activities that were provided for the inmates at Guantanamo Bay!

I do try and end all my postings on an upbeat note, so I wish to leave you with a quote that I find very Taoist and sums up the way we should view our collective mind. After all, we are all one. "There is no you, there is only me." - Trent Reznor

-A. Warren Johnson

Celebrity E-Mail: Alex Jones

Dear Alex Jones,

Do you ever shut up and listen to what you are saying? Don't get me wrong here, I do support a vast majority of what you say and you do make some very compelling points. However, you tend to say to much. Most of the points that you argue would be best summed up in fewer words.

I understand fully that us as people are a little less than slave drones that mindlessly meander through life without so much as a thought to how badly we are being screwed over by the Government. I really do, but we don't need every point on this issue repeated 36 times in a two hour span! I know that it's frustrating, but you should take Bill Hick's advice on this matter especially: "It's just a ride."

I also was wondering if you ever sleep, or are you to busy ranting about the evils of the world to get tired? If you don't sleep, that would explain the all Alex Jones internet feed I have on iTunes. It's way to much information being repeated! In a 24 hour span I would be quite surprised to hear something other then your constant bickering about the upper one percent, or that the patriot act is evil and should be dissolved!

I absolutely agree that something should be done on these matters, however I would be remiss if I didn't wonder: Are you going to lead the violent revolution. Personally I doubt very much that you will take action such as this. It's almost to bad to say this, but I think the people need a stronger leader then you. Someone who will take action and stand for justice and liberty for all.

With deep regret and sorrow,
-A. Warren Johnson

Writers Block

Stiff. Forced. Slowly the ideas trickle together. The words on the page seem to make no goddamn sense! A predicate never follows a noun! Why am I even writing? These topics seem so mundane, isn't there anything else a little more interesting to write about? No. I started this and by God I'll finish it!

Great... Forgot what the hell it was I even had in mind after the events have been laid out. I wish my editor would stop calling, I already know I'm a day past my deadline. Sigh. I'm out of ideas, and the ones I have are not strong enough to support what this story is supposed to be about. Stupid writing assignment!

Now... No, no. That will not work! Grr!!! How about if... Nah, so bloody typical! I hate the desert so much! Why the hell is it even needed? Why can't this be point by point... Hm... Maybe I'll try that! Wait, I can't. Oh bother! I'm never going to get paid for this fucking useless attempt at a mediocre event.

Fuck it. I give up. I'm done and I'm walking away. I'm going to have a shower, go for a walk and clear my head. I should probably eat something as well. Maybe that's what the problem is... It is either that or I have had way to much coffee. It's two-thrity... I could have a few drinks before sitting back down... That generally helps. Done and done! It's settled. Walk, food, drinks, shower, back to writing.

Mauybe I shoidn;y have hed so meny drink, It smeems liek I HAVE Ooops@ Caos lockedd...... I;m just going to lue down for a dew minutyes. Then I 'll gety back to writting...

Obama vs. the US

The economy is in fiscal ruins, Microsoft is cutting up to 5,ooo jobs, and Micheal Bay remade Friday the 13th. Something is seriously wrong here! The world we grew up in and taught is full of friendly and caring neighbors, National pride, and good career paths around every corner has been replaced with Terrorists, Totalitarian Governments, and pink slips.

Is it any wonder why we as a collective race have failed to reach our full potential? I don't think so, but I'm pretty cynical on matters such as this. Let's take for example the War on Terror. This so called war broke out because the US has troops stationed in about 130 countries around the world. This tends to step on the toes of other people and forces them to retaliate. 9/11 is the case in point.

While I have no doubt that Governor Bush knew full well that the attacks were to take place and did nothing to stop them, I do think that they were carried out by people from another country. Whether or not they were paid and aided by the US Government is irrelevant by this point. The real point here is that to us they are deemed terrorists, but on the other side of the fence they are fighting to be free.

Barack Obama is off to a good start by signing an order to shut down Gauntanamo Bay, yet I think he should be careful with what promises he actually keeps at this point. Kennedy was assasianated for two reasons: Trying to keep the Church and State separete, and trying to stop the Bay of Pigs. If I were in Barack's shoes I would first eliminate the Central Banks and get rid of that long shadow who we know is actually in control. Then I would start printing a new currency.

This action alone would not ensure his safety, but it would make a huge difference in the economy. The next logical step would be to socialize health care in the US and issue and order to create resources for free renewable energy for the US. Once nothing had a price, President Obama would be safe for the 1% would have nothing of value thus forcing them into perdition.

The reason I suggest that Barack Obama should do these things is that if the US did it first, other countries around the world would follow suit and preform the same actions. There would be no poverty because the things that cost the most money would be free. Just a playful thought, yet one that should be considered.

-A. Warren Johnson

Gauging Success

"Success is not permanent. The same is also true of failure." - Dell Crossword

How successful do you feel right now? Most people will inevitably say not very. In all reality though it depends on how you gauge success. "Well there is only one way to gauge success! It's about how much money you have!" Wrong. If you write music, and you do it because you love music and don't care if you make a single cent, are you successful? I would think so.

I could write the greatest book in the world, but if I choose to just post it on the internet for free, would that make me less successful? I don't think it would. I gauge my success on how happy I can make people. I don't actually know how many people read these rants and musings, however I know people do. If the post here make you angry, depressed, happy or just make you think, then I have been doing my job properly. Some people have even been inspired to write by reading this blog. I would consider that a successful feat.

The problem with properly gauging success is that we - collectively - equate success with money. It doesn't necessarily have to do with money. It matters only if your are good at something, and you feel accomplished after doing it. Money comes. It's readily available. Sometimes it's hard to keep, or have quite enough, but it does come around.

People always say I have no motivation to do anything, or that I will never do anything with my life. I think I'd be a better judge of myself than they would. I may not making money at writing now, but I will. I may not be the most focused person ever, but I can focus long enough to write enough to get my points across. I don't care what anyone thinks of me, because I know what makes me feel accomplished, and that's all that really matters.

"Together Now" Excerpt 6

The heat woke Warren up. There is something to be said about the sticky Californian heat. His head rang in time with his alarm clock. Warren looked over bleary eyed at Anne on the other couch. She just rolled over and didn’t seem to notice the alarm.

Warren reached over and turned it off. He stretched out on the love seat and sat up.

‘Relying on the kindness of strangers is awesome.’ Warren thought.

The night before had been one of drinking debauchery at the expense of other peoples wallets. Today however was a day to get into gear. If he was going to write professionally he needed to start doing it immediately!

He threw on one of the three pairs of jeans he had brought with him and his black dress shirt. He felt more like a writer already. He then grabbed the card out of his wallet to set up a meeting with Borden. The phone rang twice before Borden answered.

“Hey Borden.” Warren greeted him warmly. “What do your plans look like for today?”

“Just got a meeting with a hack writer who wants to write screenplays, however he never writes anything interesting, it’s always some sort of adaptation about some emo/goth who can’t get laid. I guess it’s supposed to be artistic or something like that.” Borden replied.

“Well would you care to get together after that and see if you would want me as a client?” Warren asked very bluntly.

“Sure man! I’ve been wanting to hear the story of how you came to Cali. Canadians I’ve always found to have interesting stories. Is 2:30 work for you?” Borden asked.

“You bet. Where are we meeting?” Warren asked trying to contain his excitement.

“The bucks on east main. It’s my favorite location.” Borden stated.

“All right, Borden. Sounds good, I will meet you there.” Warren said finalizing the meeting.

“Excellent. Later Warren.” Borden said.

“Later.” Warren repeated hanging up.

Warren was excited by this turn of events, now all he had to do was figure out how to get to the Starbucks on east main and he would be all set!

***
Anne awoke to find she was home alone. It was 1:30 and she felt mildly hungover. She wondered where Warren had gotten to. She was feeling a little frisky and wanted to congratulate Warren in a very intimate manner.

‘Oh well. He’ll be back, then I can have my way with him.’ Anne thought deviously.

She got up and headed to the bathroom.

‘Maybe he’ll come home and take me in the shower.’ She thought as she started her shower.

Anne undressed and stepped into the shower. As she washed her hair she questioned why she was having these thoughts about Warren all of a sudden. She couldn’t quite place the reason. Thoughts like: ‘Maybe we’ve been friends for so long that this is the natural progression.’ And ‘If we ended up married?’ Kept crossing her mind.

Anne never thought this before and felt confused about why she started now. She wondered how Warren felt at this very moment.

***

Warren felt lost. He had made it to the Starbucks Borden had instructed him to be at, and he was sitting across from Warren, but Borden was actually a really hard person to follow in a business conversation.

“Okay so what my firm needs is someone that can write an original idea. It has to be along the same lines of a network show, but we need it in a feature format. That Goth kid has been let go from our firm, so now it’s up to you to step up Warren. You want a shot at being a writer, this is it, I like you, and even if this doesn’t work out I still want to talk to you, but just don’t fuck this up.” Borden spit out without so much as a breath.

‘Goddamn, Borden is an amazing speaker!’ Warren thought.

“So what are some of your ideas?” Borden asked finally Warren including him into the conversation.

“Well I have this one screenplay I wrote when I was working the kitchen circuit back home. It’ll need to be revised for what you want though.” Warren said.

“Great! I want a look at it tomorrow. As long as it’s a draft we can send editors in on it and have them do the re-writes. You won’t have to worry about a thing.” Borden stated.

“One thing you should know about it though, Borden is that...” Warren started.

“It doesn’t matter what it’s about as long as there is some sort of story.” Borden said cutting Warren off.

“That’s just it, it’s not like a traditional story. The antagonist is the restaurant and the anti-hero is a shift leader, and there are something like 8 different story lines going on at the same time...” Warren again tried to explain.

“Don’t worry, the editors will make it work. You still get the credit, and I make 10 percent. Trust me, as long as you produce something, it doesn’t matter if it’s any good.” Borden reassured Warren.

“All right. So... This is sort of an important question, how am I supposed to work for your firm without a Visa?” Warren asked nervously.

“Don’t worry about that, Warren. There are ways around it. Just because you are here writing, doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to live here. You can claim that you wrote it in Canada and you were just up here for a meeting. The only down fall of this is that you will have to go back to Canada to cash your cheque.” Borden explained.

“Well... That may be a little more difficult then that. See I sort of got jack. She took my wallet and then the cop I got pulled over by impounded my car.” Warren confessed.

“Don’t worry, Dreamscape will take care of all that for you. Just make sure to have that draft into me by tomorrow. You may also want to start writing something else. That short little three sentence story would be great. Write it, make it real and then drop that draft off.” Borden suggested.

“Done! So can I ask you for a huge favor?” Warren asked.

“Sure.” Borden replied almost immediately.

“Would you be able to give me a ride home?”

***

My Legacy

Lost and confused. These seem to be how I've been spending my days recently. My writing has become fruitless. Barren and stripped of everything that was once good. This flu doesn't seem to help matters any. If anything it adds to the agitation.

Feel the need to run, yet feel to weak to do it. That and the lack of cash makes running away almost unattainable. My ego has apparently outgrown my roots of this city. I doubt changing locations though will help much. Same types of people, same types of situations. The only reason to really leave is to experience some new life, and network.

Maybe that's the meaning to this digital age. To network and be heard. The only con to this however is the fact that everyone asks for help, yet they don't do anything to help themselves. They lash out at the people that care and I am no exception to this.

I also seem to be stuck in a story I'm writing. I don't know where to go! Some would call it writer's block, I simple refer to it as a lack of creativity. I also find it hard to get back into my head, reality has taken it's toll. The price has been paid by a gross lack of sleep, drinking and above all no creative output. Hence the recent posting about myself.

My legacy will live on after I'm dead. This much I know. It will take it's place by my dead heroes, and eventually my works will be collected into an anthology. The only thing that I question at this moment is what I will fill the tome with.

-A. Warren Johnson

Celebrity E-Mail: Bill Hicks

Dear Bill Hicks,

I know that you've been dead for almost 15 years now, but I thought I would write to you anyway. I am the type of person that likes to be informed, so I tend to ask a lot of questions. I hope that you not in a hurry when you read this... Wait! Your dead! Silly me, you have all eternity to read this! I shall still try and make it as short as possible. Your probably wanting to catch Hendrix on the harp.

The main thing I wanted to ask was how did it feel to be like Jesus trying to tell people the truth on social issues that effects us all on many different levels? I bet it felt great! It's just to bad that you got cancer and died before your work could be finished. I guess you were right when you said that, "We kill those people. Shut him up, we've got a lot invested in this ride!". I know that you weren't murdered, but it still is a tragedy that a great social commentator is dead.

Another thing I've always wanted to know is why people think I'm funny? Since you are in the ultimate consciousness now, I figure that you could give me some insight on this matter. I find myself to be witty, not so much flat out funny. I also feel that no one gets it. By it I mean everything. Anyway I hope to hear from you soon... Right, right, right! Sorry. I keep forgetting that you are dead. I guess I won't be getting an email back form you, however if there is some sort of way to give me answers from the great beyond, then I am open for your response.

Your dark poet in training,
-A. Warren Johnson

Random Thoughts in a Bath.

"I would go fuck myself, but I would rather fuck you."

"Last night I spewed prayers on my Goddesses bosom, I then laid at her cold glass feet."

"Some would say I'm a narcissist. I think I'm just pretty."

"I've given up many things for you, and you were the hardest."

"Lose some weight you anorexic cunt!"

"It's better to live in the world of fantasy. Nothing can break your dreams there."

"Got AYDS?"

"One day I will prove them all fools. I will be better then any of them. That day is today!"

"Life passes me by and yet I sit and do nothing. Where did I go wrong?"

"Goddamn women..."

"Sure I have issues, but at least I know what they are."

"No one ever listens to sound advice."

"Drinking leads to depression. Depression leads to rage. Rage leads to the darkside."

"I want to learn the ying, I got the yang down."

"Smile today, tomorrow you may be dead."

"To bad all the women I like are crazy or taken."

"I get along with myself most of the time. "

"I could be better, but I choose to be bitter."

"I should probably write something."

"Good or bad, I still care."

"Hypocrisy doesn't really exist. People just change their minds."

"Funny how well depression and booze work so well together."

"Warning: Writing may lead to alcoholism."

"Write responsibly."

"Consequences only apply to those who let them."

"Why is it that fundamentalists cause all the fucking trouble?"

"Just once it would be nice to find someone I could spend forever with."

"I could really use another cheeseburger."

"Mmm... Milkshake!"

"Squiggles!"

An apology for lovers.

Dear ________,

My love for you is undying and always will be. The cold winter nights have always been filled by the thoughts of you next to me. I take comfort in the fact that one day we will be happy, maybe together, maybe a part.

I can only hope that you find something to quiet your tormented soul, after all, we all are tormented by something. You have always brought out the best in me. I have never told you that, but I'm telling you because you should know. Even if we are a part, just know that I still care and will always care about you.

I feel we are stronger together than we are a part. I know that I can be unfair, self centered and spiteful at times, but you were always the one that could point out the error of my ways. I haven't even said thank you for correcting me when I'm wrong. I am sorry for that.

You also have the power to bring out my worst. I find it very odd that someone could make me so crazy, so angry, and most of all: So in love. Although you can be cruel and unkind I love you for your flaws. You are weaker in some respects, (like your excessive _________), yet that makes me think about my imperfections and ponder what you ever saw in me.

I'm sorry for all the times I argued with you, I'm sorry for the times you thought I didn't care. I'm sorry for making you feel like you were second best, that was never my intent. I just wanted you to know.

I'm not one to meddle in free will, so if you feel the need to go, know that I will miss you. I have never met anyone that could trigger this in me before, and probably never will again. All I have are my mistakes. Lessons learned, and you, (wonderful you), I have to thank for that. Maybe later in life we can get it right, or even in another. Things may be tough right now between us, but somehow we are still connected.

Sincerely,

__________

Hostility and Sex

What can be said about the war in Gaza? Well actually a lot can be said, but for time constraints I will cover only the basics. The Gaza strip is located along the Mediterranean sea. It is also a part of Israel, which contrary to popular belief does not, (by any right), belong to the Jewish people.

The Jewish people of Germany were given, (you read correct), Israel by the UN after the second world war. This naturally enraged the Palestinians of the region thus causing a civil conflict for the past few decades. It is staggering to think that the Palestinians would rise up against the Jewish community. One would naturally think they would have went against the UN, but no. The Jews are there and easier to get to.

The Jewish people are not innocent either. They wish to rebuild the Temple of Solomon. This as any good fundamentalist knows is what is supposed to trigger the apocalypse. I for one think that the book of revelations is much more about human nature than an actual time frame, but that's just me. Anyway, the Temple would be rebuilt on Holy land for both parties, thus furthering the turmoil. Goddamn religion and politics! Anyway both factions rage war against each other causing to the problem, rather then a solution. Ironically enough it's really only fundamentalists dying in from the retaliations, so really, where's the problem?

The people I feel bad for are the Egyptians. First the Christians take their holy book, then they invaded their land and make them sell imports for much lower prices then what they are worth! I'm glad we as a race are so civilized! Man, if we weren't, we may actual talk things through and get along! Boy that would be bad for the international trade treatises wouldn't it?

Anyway, enough of the over simplifications and cynicism. The underlying point here is that we will never reach true unity until we put away the fundamentalist views. They have done nothing but harm and continue to reek havoc and destruction. If one just looks at the crusades, or, (for the fundamentalist at heart), the bible, one can see that senseless violence in the name of God is just a waste of sex. Two people had to fuck to make that one person you killed.

It makes no difference what race, or creed you are derived from the bottom line is that two people fucked to make you, they didn't do it in the hopes that you would die at the hands of someone else. This can be applied to gang members as well. To all the gangsters and thugs of the world, as well as the fundamentalists, next time you pick up a weapon with intent to hurt or kill someone, ask yourself: "Did my parents fuck for this?"

-A. Warren Johnson

Celebrity E-Mail: Bob Saget

Dear Bob Saget,

I used to watch Fullhouse when I was young. I happened to watch an episode the other day, needless to say I found the show to be extremely unrealistic. What were the producers thinking? I think that the show didn't focus enough on AIDS or the extreme use of Crack-Cocaine that plagued the 80's.

Do you think that it's wrong for me to criticize the realism? Or would you be inclined to more or less agree? I just was taken a back by memories of the war on drug and AIDS psa's I remember always being on during the commercial breaks, but never did put the two together until the other day. Anyway, I hope your stand up is going well and I look forward to you getting another show. Preferable one that doesn't involve sucking cock for cocaine.

All the best,
-A. Warren Johnson

Meeting a lady's parents.

This always seems to happen to me. I meet a lady and instantaneously they feel the need to introduce me to their parents. I have a very simple one word question: Why? I mean I can understand if your are going to spend a good portion of your life with a certain lady that you should probably meet her parents, but if she isn't interested in a relationship and you never hangout, then what was the point?

I hardly see my parents, why in the world would I want to meet yours? Don't get me wrong here, I love meeting people's parents, but you know after five minutes of meeting someone, I don't feel that inclined to meet the people who birthed and raised them. They haven't made a huge impact in my life in the five minutes. I'm sorry, it's just a fact.

Now if they introduce me to their parents while they are out with them, then that is completely different! I can leave at anytime and don't have to worry about making a good impression. It wasn't the express purpose for me to run into them, it was just a happenstance.

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only guy that thinks this way, so ladies a word of advice: Don't introduce guys to your parents unless you plan on keeping them around for a minimum of 1 year, and guys, don't go unless you plan on being with them for the same amount of time.

-A. Warren Johnson

The lost diary of Jesus.

April 10th 33 A.D.

Today I died. I was on a hill, nailed to a couple of lengths of wood. Now I know my step-father would be upset, but I just couldn't tell what kind of wood it was. Ugh... I can hear him now: "Jesus! I brought you up around wood until you were 30! How can you not know what sort of tree it came from?"

Dad told me I would only have to be in hell for 3 days. Boy this is putting a damper on my weekend. It's stuffy down here. The sulfur burns my nostrils, although the smell of burning flesh reminds me of that time when the boys and I went to this wedding! Oh man, that was the best steak dinner I have ever eaten!

When I checked into Hell there was a little bit of confusion. Apparently my reservation was for a few weeks from now. Just like my father to forget when I was supposed to die! Anyway, after that whole ordeal I decided to try and turn fire into wine. Needless to say brimstone doesn't quite work that well to make into alcohol, and it tastes horrible.

I hope dinner is soon. Since I'm a guest and not a permanent residence I 'm assuming it's an all inclusive kind of thing. Well I should go talk to Satan about those keys. Until tomorrow...

-Jesus

April 11th 33 A.D.

One day down, two more to go! Weo! Go me go! I woke up this morning with a terrible hangover. I guess it is possible to turn brimstone into alcohol after all! Satan and I had a heart to heart. As it turns out, he doesn't even want to destroy or claim souls! What he really wants is to bring everybody into order. He reminds me a lot of Dad. Got a date with a succubus this evening. Nothing serious, she's just going to escort me to this dinner party Satan is having.

Hell is pretty boring I must admit. Today's forcast is hot and dry. Same with tomorrow until eternaty. It's kind of like when I used to have to go visit Joseph's parents. I feel trapped with no entertainment, and Tivo won't be around for and couple of millenia! Anyway, I have to go get ready for that dinner party. Maybe I'll feel better after a little communication with other people.

It's 3 am and I am drunk! Sly'rantharias has offered to spend the night with me! Is it considered cheating if your in a different plain of existance? Well I guess I'll have to have a chat with Mary before my asencion on Monday. I'm off for right now.

-Jesus

April 12th 33 A.D.

Well... Getting the keys was a little more than disappointing. It's not even a key! More like a stone with 3 holes in it. I have no idea why Dad forgot it down here in the first place. Oh well, at least the weekend wasn't a complete waste. I had some fun, but I am glad to be leaving. Way to hot down here.

Well I guess I should get going. Got to make it to my body on earth before the sun rises... Ugh... I hope I don't feel so tired when I get back, my body has had three days to rest!

-Jesus

PS - If anyone finds this in the future, don't vote for fundalmentaist Christians. They got my message all wrong!

"Together Now" Excerpt 5

The day was hot and sunny. As was yesterday. As tomorrow will probably be. The events of the past week were starting to feel like a some distant and bad dream.

Warren and Anne were shambling along a boardwalk. The vendors and street performers seemed relentless and never ending.

“Do you think it was worth coming here?” Warren asked Anne doubting his presence in California.

“Of course it was! You’ll be a writer and you’ll be great! I have faith in you.” Anne beamed to Warren as she grabbed his arm and wrapped it around hers.

“What about your career as a pornstar?” Warren countered with yet another question.

“I don’t think it would be the best thing for me to do. I honestly don’t know what I want to do now, but I’m here. Your here. We’re going to make the best of it.” Anne said trying to comfort Warren’s mind.

Warren thought on this for a few minutes as they walked. He still didn’t feel great since he was accosted last week and just wanted to run home. He looked across the beach and saw happy families, thugs, beautiful women and overweight, middle aged men.

While Warren was busy in his head, he ended up running into an alpha male type. The guy spun around and sized up Warren’s frail frame.

“Hey! I know you!” The guy said to Warren.

“Yeah? From where?” Warren asked in a somewhat non-enthusiastic tone of voice.

“You write that blog don’t you?” The guy asked excitedly.

Warren laughed slightly and started getting into the conversation a little more.

“Lots of people write blogs, sir. What is mine about?” Warren asked playfully.

“Your the one that writes about yourself like it was a story, aren’t you?” The guy asked starting to question whether or not he had stopped the wrong guy.

Warren raised his finger and pointed at the guy and said, “You sir, are correct.”

“I love how you write! I wanted to be a writer for a long time, but I never could figure out how to go about it. I mean I know how to write, I just have never been able to sit at a computer and write anything that anyone would enjoy.” The guy said.

“Well I will let you in on a secret, the trick to writing anything worth reading is strong characterization. Once you have that down it doesn’t matter what you write as long as the character is relatable to most people.” Warren stated.

“Your name is Warren right?” The guy asked.

“Yep.” Warren replied.

“I’m Borden. Who might this lovely young lady be?” Borden asked turning to Anne.

“I’m Anne. It’s nice to meet you!” Anne said with lustful intent.

“The pleasure is all mine.” Borden responded turning back to Warren.

“I think you should give me a call sometime. I’m always looking for some new talent.” Borden said handing Warren a card.

Warren accepted the card. He quickly looked it over, it read: Dreamscape Agency, Borden Janson, Publishing agent. The phone number and address were neatly placed on the lower right hand side of the card.

“Thanks!” Warren said speechlessly.

“Anytime Warren. I was wondering something though.” Borden said.

“What’s up?” Warren replied.

“Your blog said it was written in Canada. Did you just move to California?” Borden asked inquisitively.

“In not so many words. Yes. When I call you I will tell you the whole story.” Warren said.

“Sounds good, make sure to keep in touch.” Borden said.

“I will!” Warren beamed.

Borden and Warren exchanged gentries. Warren and Anne continued walking.

“See Warren, things are already looking brighter!” Anne enthusiastically stated.

“You seem to forget one thing Ms. Anne. We don’t have visa’s to work here, and my car is still impounded.” Warren said matter-of-factly.

“That will come, right now you should be excited that you more than likely have an agent! Let’s go celebrate!” Anne suggested.

“Your right. Let’s hit up this bar for a drink.” Warren said smiling at Anne.

***

An unexpected enlightenment.

The day started out like most days recently. Dark and brooding. I felt sorry for myself and tended not to say to much to anyone. Then the most amazing thing happened: I saw the truth! It was brief and only for a split second. I thought I found what some would call God.

I looked around the parking lot. It was gray and miserable. It suited me just fine. That is until I looked up. The clouds parted for a brief second and let a ray of light through. I followed the ray down with my eyes and saw something so mundane that it was profound! It was a dancing plastic bag.

Why would this be so amazing and life changing? Because dear reader, the conception that everything is connected became that crystal clear in that fleeting moment. I became enlightened. Instantly everything was put into a new perspective. One of hope.

The darkness receded and all that was left was everything I had been missing out on. Fun, adventure and excitement!

Coincidentally I had dropped 1 tab of LSD the day before. This could also be a reason for the bag being so insightful. You never know what will change you. It could be for the better, or the worse, yet both of those things are also one! It is frightening to think that the safety of reality is just a shield, some sort of wrapper around what really is.

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is: I'm back!

-A. Warren Johnson

Celebrity E-Mail: Lindsay Lohan

Dear Lindsay,

I have always enjoyed your acting as well as your antics I've seen in the tabloids. I was just wondering what it was like to be a coke addled teen role model? I found it very interesting that your popularity seemed to decline after you apparently got your life back on track.

So do you have any up and coming films? Possibly a new album? The world feels empty without your raspy coke voice. Sorry I have so many questions and such a short time to post them in! We need to make the most of the time we got, and I choose to waste mine asking you about your personal life... I must be in love.

One last question I have for you, are you actually married now or did you bankrupt the guy you were or are with? Anyway, I would love to hear back from you as soon as possible!

With regards,
-A. Warren Johnson

PS - Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

The meaning of life: The rules we all must abide by.

I give up dear reader. I truly do. I have searched long and hard about what the meaning of life really is. I fold. It seems that being a decent human being doesn't count. Nothing at all seems to matter. What the fuck kind of world is this we all inhabit? If you actually follow this blog you realize two things, there is no God, and most importantly you can only count on you.

God is only a self reflection. Not that I didn't give religion a part of my life. I did. For the better part of my 25 years on this planet, I spent 23 of them believing in an ultimate being, however the last 3 have been spent in logic. Maybe that is my ultimate down fall. Ironically, (to myself anyway), I have believed in love. Let me tell you dear reader: It doesn't exist! I spent three and a half years in a relationship with a girl that left me to be with someone who is what I was like in grade nine, (with the exception that he makes more money then anyone in grade nine), now let me ask the most obvious questions here; What the fuck? What kind of God makes sure that this is possible?

Personally I think that Taoism is the way to go. It's not considered a religion, but it's teachings sure make a lot more sense then a guy in the sky that makes sure you don't get what you deserve, and if you do get it, (wait for the punchline), he sends you to hell! My God! That is hilarious! Don't you think so dear reader? The unobtainable obtained has a consequence.

Maybe it's just the wine talking, but you have exactly the same odds of achieving what you want in life as winning the lottery! Don't get me wrong here, I loved the girl I was talking about in the aforementioned, but I can't have her because it's against the rules.

What are the rules? You are probably asking yourself... Well, the rule are simple: If your happy, then it must be destroyed, by any means necessary. This is what the meaning of life is. At least to me. It just seems to be a vicious cycle. You need to give up one thing to become better at another! You can never multi-task like you can at work, no way, you need to devote your life to something in order to give the appearance of happiness.

Let me give you a little insight dear reader, I have given everything except the bare minimum to be a writer and have found that as much as I've given up, I am still a lonely husk of what I can be.

Choose the path that works for you, because ignorance is bliss.

-A. Warren Johnson

Celebrity E-Mail: Trent Reznor

Dear Trent,

How depressed were you when you were 25? The reason I ask is I've been into your music since I was 13, and I have noticed the rise from breakup album to anti-establishment as of late. I currently find myself working in complete opposite of your musical transition and thought maybe you could give me some insight on how I can get myself back to the state of anti-establishment. This depression seems to be lasting longer then usual, and frankly it sucks. I find no joy in anything and have been finding it harder and harder to produce anything at all that resembles a normal existence. One thing I can say for sure is that "Broken" seems to be the closest relate-able EP. Were you always as anti-establishment as well and found a happy medium between the two? I feel to young to feel this old! Goddamn your good music! Okay I take that back, I find it hopeful and it works as a transition. Anyway any insight you could give me would be great.

Sincerely,
-A. Warren Johnson

"Together Now" Excerpt 4

“Honey, I’m home!” Warren said as he walked in the door. He shut the door and made his way to the bathroom. Anne was just shutting the door, she stopped when she saw him.

Warren’s left eye was black, and he had stitches. He also had a goose egg on his right cheek.

“How was your date?” Anne asked with shock.

“Well... It was more a series of misfortune really.” Warren responded while rubbing his right shoulder.

“Really? I couldn’t tell. Hold on a second, let me get a towel.” Anne said as she shut the door.

Anne came out of the bathroom wrapped in an over sized towel. It looked much more like a sun dress on her then a towel. Warren had made his way to the couch and laid down. Anne came over and sat by his legs and gently rubbed his chest.

“So what happened?” Anne asked.

“Well I went to the shrink’s office to pick her up. Her name I guess is really Tia.” Warren said not really making much sense. “Anyway, we walked around for about 2 hours talking. I finished the story of how we ended up here. Then, we got to a deserted boardwalk and she robbed me.”

“What? She did this to you?” Anne asked trying to hold back her laughter.

“No, no. It was at gun point.”

Anne no longer had the urge to laugh.

“But the story gets better.” Warren continued. “As you probably already guessed I don’t have my wallet right now. Anyway after she robbed me she took off down the boardwalk. I made my way back to my car. I start heading home when all of a sudden I get pulled over. Apparently I don’t know how to read miles because I got pulled over for driving to slow.”

“Sorry Warren, I need to go get clothes on. This towel just isn’t doing it for me.” Anne said as she got up.

“No worries. I’m not going anywhere.” Warren replied.

While Anne was changing she felt like crying. She knew that no matter what happened to her in life Warren would stick by her. He always seemed to know what to do to help her out. Save for when he was in one of his depressions. Then he was pretty much useless to everyone. She also would be there for him no matter what happened to him, but this situation she had no idea how to help him. She just hoped it didn’t trigger one of those depressions.

She came out of the bathroom in her Tweety bird shirt and jogging pants she had on earlier. Warren loved it when she wore that type of outfit. She looked comfortable.

“Okay so you got stopped by the cops, what happened after that?” Anne asked as she sat back down beside him.

Warren snickered a little before resuming the story.

“So the cop asks me for License and Registration, I explained that I was just robbed by a shrink and I was just trying to get home. He told me to step out of the car and made me take a Breathalyzer. Then I got to do all those fun sobriety tests even though I hadn’t been drinking.”

“So the cop fucked you up this bad?” Anne asked.

“No. He let me go, but impounded my car. So I guess I need to come up with $1500 US to get it back.” Warren replied.

“So how did you get beat up?” Anne asked confused.

“Well, on my way trying to just make it home I ended up running into our friend that I through out of here last night.”

“Let me stop you right there.” Anne said. “He was over here?”

“Yep. You don’t remember?” Warren asked concerned.

“No. I’m pretty sure he slipped something in my drink.” Anne said.

“So you weren’t drunk last night?” Warren asked sitting up.

“No. I had half a beer. I don’t remember anything really past that. Except you said that you were going on a date.” Anne replied feeling ashamed.

“Well, that camera in the corner isn’t mine or yours.” Warren said pointing to the camera set up in the corner. “I didn’t shut it off after he left. You could probably see what happened for yourself when you feel up to it.” Warren suggested to her.

“Yeah. I don’t want to see it right now.” Anne said looking down at her hands. “So you ran into that asshole?”

“I sure did. Well I guess technically it was him and 4 of his friends. Jesse came up and said: ‘Well, well, well. If it isn’t the writer.’ As you already know I tend to talk to much and all 5 of them rushed me. After they beat the shit out of me, I just rolled on my back and tried to piss them more, but they were done with me.”

“So that doesn’t explain how you got the stitches.” Anne pointed out.

“Well as cruel and strange as life is I met a celebrity! Not the greatest or by any means the best role model, but just funny that she stopped and helped me out.” Warren said.

“WHO WAS IT?” Anne asked raising her voice in excitement.

“Lindsay Lohan.” Warren said smiling and nodding.

“Really? I thought she was done in Hollywood.” Anne asked.

“Even so, she still is well recognized. On the way to the hospital I explained that we came here to live out our dreams and thus far have been met with hardship. When she found out I wanted to write, she sort of cringed and it appeared that she thought I wanted to write for one of those paparazzi magazines that are always by the tills. I assured her that I didn’t want to. Anyway, she brought me to the hospital and paid for my medical bill, it was eight hundred dollars just for six stitches! Then she bought me a coffee and drove me home.” Warren finally finished.

“Well I’m just glad your back.” Anne said hugging Warren.

“Me too.” Warren replied hugging Anne back. “Thanks for listening Anne.”

“Thank you for kicking that douche bag out last night.”

“It’s what we do Anne. It’s what we do.”

"Together Now" Excerpt 3

Anne woke up the next morning with a bad hangover and couldn’t remember the events of the night before. She looked over at the couch, but Warren wasn’t there. Anne knew that as soon as her head lifted off the pillow it would explode into a throbbing migraine.

Gritting her teeth she got up. Sure enough as her head came up the intense pain shot through what felt like everyone of her synapses. As soon as she tried to stand up, she immediately fell to her knees and began vomiting violently on the studio apartment floor. She wished Warren was there, he always made her feel at least a little better.

In mid heave she remembered something form the night before. She was at a coffee shop standing in line waiting for a cup of coffee when all of a sudden a guy began talking to her. Anne chatted back as not to be rude. The guy bought her a coffee, then suggested they go to a pub for a drink.

Warren and her both didn’t know anyone in California, so she decided that it would be a good way to make at least an acquaintance that they could both be friends with.

At the bar he bought her a drink. A pint of Canadian to be exact. She went to the washroom before she sat down with her new acquaintance. On her way back to the table a girl had tried to tell her something. Anne didn’t know at the time what it was, but thought it was just a greeting in California.

Anne remembered only drinking half of her beer. Everything else was blank.

“That bastard!” Anne said between heaves. That guy had drugged her. She hoped she didn’t do anything or go anywhere with him.

After about 10 minutes of being ill, Anne felt good enough to crawl to the bathroom to get cleaned up and get some water in her system.

She pulled herself up onto the counter and looked in the mirror. She was surprised to find that she looked much better than she felt. She also noticed that her clothes were different. She was in her Tweety bird tee-shirt and wearing a pair of jogging pants. She was to tired to care about how she got into these clothes at this point.

Anne made her way to the tub and began running a hot bath. She hoped it would make her feel better. She slowly undressed and eased her way into the tub. The sound of the water rushing into the tub and hitting the water already in the tub echoed loudly between her ears. The water against her skin did however feel good.

Around 15 through 20 minutes later she was startled by the door opening. Since she was the only one home she hadn’t closed the door to the bathroom. She moved as quickly as she could to shut the door. She hoped it was just Warren.

Another Excerpt from: "Together Now"

“How are we for time?” Warren asked.

“Actually it’s almost up.” The shrink said with a pout on her face. “However I would really like to hear the rest of the story, so how about I give you my number and you could finish it for me, possibly this evening?” She said while writing her number down.

As she handed him the card with her number Warren replied with: “Sounds excellent.”

“Bye for now Warren.”

“Later.” Warren said without looking back.

***

Outside of the building Warren pulled the card out of his shirt pocket and focused on it while he was walking. Unfortunately he ended up walking right into an old lady in a walker. The old lady was not impressed.

“You fucking asshole!” She screeched as she lifted her walker to hip height and swung back to hit him in the small of the back.

“Hey! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to... Oof!!” The walker hit it’s mark with much more power than Warren thought the old lady had in her. “I was just... HEY!” He exclaimed as she swung back for another hit.

“I don’t care what you were justing! Do you have any idea of how high my medical bills are already?” She struck Warren again. This time in the back of the leg.

“Actually no. I’m Canadian!” Warren said in pain as the walker then took a turn to his chest. “Jesus! Your just like my grand mother! OW!!!” The old lady had knocked Warren on his ass.

“That’s what you get you Canuck smart ass! Maybe you’ll pay more attention to where your walking from now on, because you sure as hell ain’t in Canada anymore!” The old lady stated angrily. She set her walker back into it’s proper position and began to hobble away.

Warren sat on the ground staring at the old woman. The sudden realization of not being in Canada had finally hit him. If he was in Canada, the chance of an old lady accosting him with a walker was almost none existent. He got up, put the card with the shrinks number in his pocket and headed back to the place him and Anne were illegally renting.

***
Warren walked into the studio apartment to find Anne getting filled out like an application on the couch. A Wal-Mart special DVD camcorder was set up in a corner recording. He walked over to the guy that was balls deep with in his friend.

“Can I help you?” Warren asked in a surprisingly calm tone of voice.
Not breaking his stride the guy replied; “Who the fuck are you?”

“Hey Warren!” Anne cut in. “This is Jesse! He’s big in porn right now!” Anne was cooing with pleasure.

“Not with that camera he’s not. I know porn standards, this douche is just going to post it on a website to make himself a quick buck.” Warren retorted.

That was enough to get Jesse out of Anne. Jesse stood up. He was by nobodies standard good looking. He had what could only be described as shoddy and extremely shitty tattoos that covered his body.

“So you think you know it all don’t you?” Jesse said to Warren.

“I know enough. Comes with being a writer. I watch a lot of porn, and I have never seen anything you’ve been in. That tells me your either a wannabe, or someone who couldn’t hack doing gay porn first.” Warren replied to Jesse trying to get a reaction. Anne lit a cigarette and sat on the couch. Warren glanced over at her, she was drunk yet again.

“I ain’t no faggot! In fact I think your the fag for bringing up gay porn!” Jesse stated heated. The blood visibly rushing to his face.

“Look, I appreciate you trying to make a few bucks from fucking my roommate, but I’m going to have to see the contract and release form for this production.” Warren stated even more calmer then he was before.

“Well... I don’t have them on me. I forgot them at the Starbucks where we signed them.” Jesse said with less aggression.

“Okay let’s see your STD report. You at least have to have one of those on you, every porn actor does.” Warren said crossing his arms and tilting his head to the side.
“I don’t have my wallet it on me, but it’s in there.” Jesse said trying to be confident and failing miserably at it.

“It’s time you leave.” Warren suggested while gathering Jesse’s clothes and putting them in his arms.

“Can I just...” Jesse started.

“No. Goodbye.” Warren said leading him to the door.

“But...”

“No.” Warren replied while opening the door. He gently pushed Jesse out.

“Hey my...” Jesse started again.

“B-bye.” Warren said condescendingly then shut the door.

Warren turned and looked at Anne. He hated seeing her like this. He was glad she didn’t get involved. He walked over to her and sat on the apartments couch.

“So he seemed nice.” Warren said trying to make light of the situation.

“He was going to make me a star and you fucked it up!” Anne said with building hostility.

“Anne. Your drunk, again. You didn’t sign a contract, or even a release form. That guy was not going to make you a star.” Warren logically stated.

“Well I need to start somewhere Warren! We’ve been here a week and all I’ve done is get drunk and haven’t wanted to go look for work.” Anne replied. She was on the brink of tears. Bipolar is a hell of a disorder.

“That would be because we can’t technically work here yet. You could go be a server for a while. I know it’s not the greatest thing to do, but it would be a starting point.” Warren said trying to give Anne some help.

“But that’s why we ran away for! So we could live our dreams! Not so we could rot in yet another restaurant in the US! Goddamn it Warren! You at least write! I’m sure it’ll be easier for you to get on somewhere and do what you want to do!” Anne replied. The hostility returning.

“Keep in mind I’m in the same situation as you right now. The only difference is I’ve left the apartment for more then a few hours this week. Anyway, I have to get ready. I have a date this evening.” Warren said getting up and heading to the bathroom.

“A date?” Anne asked.

“Yeah, it was the weirdest thing! I felt a little discouraged today and went to one of those drop in counseling centers and got asked out by the shrink!” Warren replied form in the bathroom.

“I bet your going to fuck her.” Anne said morosely.

“That’s the plan.” Warren responded with a mouthful of toothbrush.

“I hope you do, but just so you know I’m not going to come bust in on you.” Anne said with her head down staring at the burnt out cigarette butt between her fingers.

“I know, probably because I’ll be at her place.” Warren quickly replied.

“I’m just saying that I wouldn’t crush your dreams. I’m just wondering why you felt the need to crush mine.” Anne rhetorically asked as she put the butt in the ashtray.

Warren emerged from the bathroom. His hand dropped away from his toothbrush and hung loosely in his hand. He walked back over to the couch and sat next to Anne. He put his arm around her naked body.

“Look Anne. I’m not going out with this girl to try and become a writer. She’s a shrink. I know you want to be a porn star, but your not going to attain that by fucking every guy with a camcorder that comes along. I’ll help you look for work tomorrow. Real work, not some seedy fuck with a 200 dollar camera.” Warren said to Anne sympathetically. “Just rest and relax tonight okay?”

“I will. Thanks Warren.” Anne said smiling at him.

“No problem. You help me get through tough times as well. Like it or not, we’re in this together now.” Warren said getting up. “You should also get an STD test, that guy looked like a drowned sewer rat!”
***

Taris

This post is dedicated to all the Star Wars fans across the globe.

I was just surfing the net when I came across a new Star Wars film. It's called, "Taris". Now this isn't a fan film, George Lucas has been working on this screenplay for a few years according to the site I was on.

At the risk of ruining the film for you all, (which if you are a true fan this will not stop you from seeing this film), here is the basic plot:

A young, (and coincidentally gay, yes you read me right), Jedi is sexually discriminated against by the Jedi Order. After receiving a standard Midichlorian test, it is discovered that his count has dropped below 200 and he is diagnosed with JMDS, (Jedi Midichlorian Deficiency Syndrome). After his diagnosis he is exiled from the Jedi Order. The young, now ex-Jedi hires a homophobic Jawa and files a civil suit against the Order for wrongful dismissal and sexual discrimination.

This Star Wars film takes place 3 years before episode one and is much less action then the previous 6 films. I found this particularly interesting that George Lucas destroyed the Jedi mythos by introducing Science and claiming it was a little bacteria that enabled Jedi's to use the force. I find it even more amazing that with this film he wants to further hurt the mythos by introducing Medical Science, however I find the kicker to all of this is George's claim of this new installment, and I quote: "It's my answer to Philadelpha."

I for one am pretty excited about this new saga he is setting up, and look forward to seeing how it transpires. Is there a new hope for yet another trilogy? For now only George knows, and he's not telling.

-A. Warren Johnson

Excerpt from: "Together Now"

"It is sometimes easier to live in the fantasy of another then to face reality head on." Warren said to the shrink that was quietly taking notes.

"Why do you think you feel that way?" She asked with a cold and dead stare directed to Warren.

"I don't know. Maybe because I moved out here to do something with my life and it hasn't happened yet? How about when I go home my friend is generally in some $@#%ed up situation that I inevitably have to deal with? Those could be some of the factors. At least I would think." Warren replied with a bitter and disdainful undertone.

"Okay, what is it that you want to accomplish here in L.A.?"

"To write professionally and make my mark."

Warren sat up and faced the shrink. There was something sexy about her non-attachment. It made him feel both uncomfortable and welcome at the same time. He quickly looked down at his hands.

"Do you write?" She asked in her non-emotional voice.

"I do. I have. The few gigs I did get out here have proven only to be one time deals. It's a little depressing." Warren said looking towards his hands he nervously rubbed together.

"What was the breaking point that brought you here?" The shrink asked, only this time Warren looked up at her. He could have sworn there was a faint tone of compassion in her voice.

"How did I get here today, or how did I get to California in the first place?" He asked with some slight confusion.

"Why don't you start at the beginning." She retorted.

***

The day was mundane. It was cookie cut just as the previous day was. Warren felt like throwing the knife he just dropped on the floor into the dish area. He quickly re thought the idea. Knowing his lick a server would walk into the kitchen just as it left his hand and find a mark deep in their neck. He walked over and placed it on the stainless steel counter.

“This isn’t what my life will amount to. It just can’t be.” Warren said quietly to himself.

“What can’t be?” Anne asked him in an angry sort of tone.

“Nothing. Just self reflecting.” Warren replied bitterly.

Anne dropped off her dishes and exited through the swinging door back out front. Warren returned to his self loathing position on the line. It was just another day. Filled with everything he hated about himself and everything he wanted to change. He was a writer and he knew it. Warren needed to get away.

***
Anne liked to $@#%. She was born to spread her legs and have fun. Serving provided an income but wasn’t what she was good at. $@#%ing was her calling and $@#%ing on film would grant her money as well as job satisfaction.

Her and Warren had a short lived fling when she arrived at this soul crushing hellhole, yet was interrupted by both of their ambition to push the other away.

Such as life. They both wanted self destruction and fun. It was, (so to speak), in both of theirs genetic make up. Anne knew this from the moment they met. The torment and anguish both of they felt was almost unbearable. She wanted him, yet always seemed to push him away.

It was really Warren’s fault however. Warren with all his smooth talking and easy going personality! Anne hated him for that. This is the underlying reason they could never be together.
Anne walked into the kitchen and asked quite bluntly:

“What are you doing tonight?”

“I don’t know, going home and getting drunk by myself and think about why I still exist?”

“How about if we did something together this evening? I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

Warren pondered the question as if Anne had an ulterior motive behind this. After a long pause he agreed.

On the hi-way to a little town that was an hour and a half away, Warren lit a cigarette.

“So why the sudden want to hangout and go on a hour and a half long trek to a different town for a cup of coffee?” Warren asked slyly.

“I don’t know. I felt like doing something adventurous for a change. I don’t know if you noticed but we are into each other but haven’t been able to break our barriers.”

“Yeah, I have actually.” Warren replied while handing her the cigarette. “Are you telling me that you have a thing for me Ms. Anne?”

“Not really. I just feel we need each other.” Anne laughed slightly. She knew they would eventually push each other away and still felt way to $@#%ed up over the last guy she fell in love with.

“How so?”

“I don’t know. We just work well together. We make a great team.”

“Agreed, but why do you think it will last?”

“Because no matter what we go through, we rely on each other. That’s what will make us blessed.”

“So what are you getting at?” Warren asked curiously.

“I think we should run away together.” Anne said without a second thought.

Warren laughed. “Yeah, okay. Where are we going to run to? Neither of us has much money.”
“We’ll go to California! I’ll become a porn star, and you will become a writer!” Anne stated this like it was fact. However when planning to run away anywhere, one should not be so certain about anything.

***

Warren had resumed his lounging position on the couch and continued the story.

"2 weeks later we just packed up and left. No one knew we were leaving and no one knew where we were going." Warren reminisced.

"Sounds like you 2 are in love." The shrink suggested.

"No. Actually far from that. We're just in this together now. Don't get me wrong, we do occasionally $@#%, but neither of us feel anything about it afterwards."

"Have you two ever had a falling out?" She asked with a genuine interest in her voice.

"Yeah. 3 days before we left I fell into a pretty dark place..."

***

Warren sat across from Anne at the all night diner. Anne prodded Warren a bit, trying to make conversation.

"So... What's got you down?" Anne attempted.

"Nothing." Warren hissed in a venomous tone.

"You lying. I always know when your lying."

"Good for you."

"Jesus, why do you have to be such a dick?" Anne snapped.

"Look Anne. I hate myself. I never feel like I am going to accomplish anything and I, for some reason, want to get married and have kids! I don't know why I'm feeling this way but I do. Just leave me alone for right now." Warren exploded.

"Well if by hate yourself you mean love yourself than yeah I agree! You are not the only one that gets depressed you know! Maybe you would see that you bring other people down with you when you get into these lulls! I'm going to the washroom." Anne countered with all the anger she could muster up. She got up and left for the washroom.

***

"I wasted no time in putting my jacket on and paying our bill and leaving." Warren finished.

"I bet she got mad didn't she?"

"You sir, are correct. I tried to apologize to her over the phone and through email, but she ignored me. On the third day at work I wrote down that I was leaving that night after I was off and if she was still in that she should be ready as well."

"That's really romantic! I bet she forgave you after that!"

The shrink now seemed positively captivated by Warren's story of how he came to California. She encouraged him to keep going.

"Well we didn't really talk much for the first three hours of the trip here..."

***

The road was endless. The darkness provided Warren little comfort. All sorts of doubt crossed his mind. He even considered turning around and heading home. He glanced over at Anne a few times and was met with the back of her head. The only sound came from the radio. Everyday is exactly the same by Nine Inch Nails came on.

'How fitting.' Warren thought.

Somehow he felt like he should be the one to break the silence, but was unsure how to bring up and resolve the fight they had 3 days prior to this bold and ludicrous venture.

'Guess that's what I get for befriending a girl with bi-polar disorder.' Warren's inner dialogue nagged.

"So what was your really problem the other night?" Anne blurted out. This caught Warren off guard.

"I don't know. Just everything has been getting me down lately, and you seemed like you were ignoring me at work the other day all day. That really got to me." Warren confessed. A step in the right direction.

"Are you serious? I thought you were mad at me! That's why I didn't talk to you much."

"Well I am sorry about the other night. It's the last time I'm going to say it because I know it doesn't really mean anything."

"Your right, it doesn't. This however proves it. You are willing to just up and leave with me. I know you have your doubts, but I truly believe this will help both of us work out our demons." Anne stated sincerely.

Warren was just glad they were talking again...

***

Apparent Rebel Without Rhyme or Reson.

Two years ago my friend thought it would be hilarious for me to make a Y.C.L. Ad on youtube. The reason being that I have no political stand since I believe that our Government is corrupt and should be violently thrown out of the offices of power.

Anyway... being the youtube junkie that I am, I just noticed a comment left on the video. It was I guess a Christmas eve gift? Anyway, the comment is quoted here:

"the official publication of the YCL is Rebel Youth. anyone who's interested in socialism should get a copy. it's cheap, whi also makes it easily distributable. i hope your friend was happy because this is a nice video"

I don't know what this means, threat? Praise? Whatever it may mean, I guess I have become a rebel without a cause. I just haven't found what that cause is... Anyway dear reader, any insight may be directed to a.warrenjohnson@hotmail.com. As for me, I'm off to bed... Or maybe a night cap, either way, I shall leave you for one more night.

-A. Warren Johnson

Epitaph of drunken failure.

The more I write, the more I know it's what I need to do! The strangest thing has happened though. I have found that I have nothing to say. This could be the single most important thing a writer needs, yet I seem to have lost my message that I feel I should bring you.

In my previous blog I wrote about depression being a transition, now with that said I can't real solicit hope without a message now can I?

This presents an even bigger problem than my depression. I need some inspiration. (The girl I mentioned in the aforementioned post is a terrible muse!) That is why I now, (regrettably), turn to you dear reader.

What is the apparent message I'm trying to get across here, or is it more just drunken babbling I seem to be writing at the moment? (I just thought over all would be a little overbearing since this is the first time I have ever attempted writing a drunken blog, well I guess this is the third in a 4 hour span). I guess I may never know...

Possibly, (and more probably), I'm just not supposed to get it. Either way, it is the sucks and doesn't matter simultaneously! Isn't life grand? You should go and read something a little more joyful for a bit, I may be at my self destruction for a while, or until I get it right...

-A. Warren Johnson

Hope for the future: The cowards way out.

Self loathing is an interesting thing. You may observe the abstract and seemingly unlike you behavior, yet at the root of it all is you. Well, you and your ID. This is what I think makes it so complex.

I for whatever reason am hopelessly in love with an unavailable woman. She makes this feeling either go away or ten fold worse. The absolutely horrible part about it is I can't seem to bring it up to her. As I stated in my last post I am drunk, which obviously amplifies this into a much more deep rooted issue. The reason for my feeling even more like shit than I already did is the fact that she is leaving to be with her ex-boyfriend.

Let me tell you one thing about love dear reader: It makes you insane. Maybe one day she'll read this and understand why I am so fucked up, but until that day I will be here. Writing for free as an as of yet undiscovered talent.

This is also another factor is this deep freeze that I seem to be in. I tend to get opportunities to do amazing things, yet I never feel ready to do them. God, I hate myself. It would seem to some that I'm going for a sympathy or depression dollar, but dear reader, that is not the case.

I am just one man seeking the meaning of life, trying to enjoy the ride. It's never that simple though. Anyone who believes it is, well they are probably naive and need to experience life a little more than just watching those lame piece of shit romantic comedies that Hollywood pump out for a quick buck.

Funny how life is hey dear reader? One moment you have a firm grasp on life, the next your falling downwards until you hit rock bottom.

I find hope in depression. It would seem to me that it is a transitional mechanism to help cope with sudden change. I personally don't feel that way right now, however I know the thought has crossed my mind in a more optimistic mind set. So this brings me to why I actually feel this way at the moment.

The answer for once is not a simple one. I have no idea. As I do not know any reader intimately I just write and hope for the best. A hope that you may fill in the blanks rather than think of me as another whiny emo fuck/hack.

If the thought has crossed your mind, then you have read into this more of an act rather than a thought provoking piece. I know it will provoke me to think tomorrow morning when the hangover sets in and I have to face the job force yet again. Goddamn I hate kitchens.

So is there a point to all this drunken rambling? Yes. There actually is. Funny that I know the point, yet as so clearly stated, I have missed the story. The point is that no matter how depressed oner gets, it is a transition. It is the inability of dealing with the fast and swift that plumet us into this dark place.

The purgatory is just the thought process of the over all dealing. Don't ever think about ending your life dear reader, because it's only the cowards way out.

-A. Warren Johnson

Building anger.

Drinking. It does one of two things. It either helps ease the pain of whatever you feel, or it helps to enhance it. Reality tends to be be somewhere in the middle. I tend to squander my gift of writing on useless emotion, thus it tends to come off as either pretentious or whiny. That has never been the point. For that dear reader I am sorry.

The main point of my shameless ramblings is much more of trying to be hopeful. Hopeful of a better future, or of a better life. One that creates rather than destroy. I have done nothing to better my life thus far due to lack of economic stability. However I do hold out hope that one day that I will write something great that will appeal to you all.

I have recently been approached about a comic book idea, however we shall see how far that goes. Maybe it's the booze talking, but frankly I am sick of watching people who deserve a better place in life getting the shitty end of the stick and I seem to be getting more angry.

The rage seems to build aimlessly to nothing and I have no idea how to channel it into anything meaningful. Thus I write on my blog. A seemingly lone voice against the hypocrisy. I may possibly be wrong, but there is something seriously wrong in our world. I think it may be the political powers of the world, but that's just one man's opinion.

Anyway, I am off to go clear my booze ridden head of everything that has been angering me as of late. I hope you all are having a wonderful evening where you are holding up base and I will rant more about me later.

-A. Warren Johnson

A taste of things to come.

This evening I saw what most likely will be what I will be like in 10 years. I generally don't don't watch a lot of television or movies as of late. I just find it to be a tool of procrastination. With that said I bought the first season of Californication. I have never seen the show before tonight and knew absolutely nothing about it before my impulse buy at the devil store known as Wal-Mart.

One thing I have always wanted to do was write. I have known this from a very young age, and sometimes forget that I can articulate words together in some sort of way that people find humorous or entertaining. For those of you out there that like to blog and love to drink and have lots of consensual sex, this is definitely a show that you should be watching!

I seem to find myself at a similar crossroad to where the character of Hank Moody is. Minus the kid and ex-girlfriend, and I guess the fact I haven't fucked a 16 year old since I have been 18. Those major things aside, I have come to actually understand why I write. The truth is simple, (as are most things in my blog), yet somehow profound.

I write because I can. It's what I apparently should be doing with my life. I write because I'm entertaining and enjoy being entertaining. I also hold myself back as well. I tend to start things and leave them unfinished because I always think I can come back to them. This could be why I'm single. I walk away, and never look back.

The point I guess I'm trying to make with this particular post is nothing more but a challenge to you dear reader. Nothing hard or complex, but something that should be done by the both of us. My proposal is simply this: To go back and finish one thing in your life that you have left unfinished and finish it! It can be anything! Think of something that you want to accomplish and do it!

If there is a guy/girl you have a thing for but have never told them: Tell them! If you have an idea you have for a song but don't think you can write it: Write it! If there is a job you don't think you'll get but really want it: Make them want you! The options here are limitless. Rejection may be the result, but at least you'll have the answer!

As for my own challenge, it will involve getting an actual writing position. This will be a challenge because I have no formal indoctrination center validation, but I do have skills to sit down and write something people like to read. I guess that most of all is why I write.

-A. Warren Johnson