Warren arrived at Borden’s office. Borden was on the phone, so Warren slumped into the chair in front of his desk and placed a finger to his temple.
Borden stared briefly at Warren, nodded hello then signaled to him that he would be a minute. Warren nodded a reply back to Borden.
“Well this isn’t the type of offer you would expect to lose though... Okay, how about I meet with you later on this afternoon?... All right, just let me write the address down...” Borden said as he picked up a pen and started writing down the information. “All right, I’ll be there around 7... Okay, later.” Borden hung up the phone.
“So... You two are still not talking I see.” Borden observed.
“She tried to initiate a conversation this morning.” Warren replied.
“And?” Borden questioned.
“I said hey.” Warren stated.
“That’s it? Hey? Warren, you two came down here on a whim. A mere fucking thought! How long can you be angry for?”
“That’s a good question Mr. Borden. I wish I had an answer. It just seems like every time I try and to please her in any way she just pushes me further away. I don’t even know if she is worth the trouble.”
“Warren, to quote Will Smith: Girls of the world ain’t nothing but trouble. It’s just a matter of what kind of trouble you are looking for.” Borden offered.
“That actually makes a lot of sense.”
“I know it does! That’s why I said it. Look at your situation this way: You took a chance coming out here to become a writer. That you succeeded in. Anne came out here with you for whatever reason. She is a very unstable person, but she still decided to come out here with you. However it’s ultimately up to you what happens in your life and not hers, you may influence her decisions to some degree, but you can’t make her your main focus.” Borden stated helpfully.
“So in other words, should I stay or should I go.” Warren said with the sort of monotone drone that one would expect from an automated phone service.
“If you want to quote The Clash, pretty much.”
“What would you do in my situation?” Warren asked.
“Probably ask you the same question.” Borden retorted.
Warren chuckled at Borden’s wit.
“Anyway, on much more professional level, how’s the re-write coming along?” Borden asked.
“I’m about 40 pages in. I’m finding it harder to focus on something I’ve already written.” Warren confessed.
“Well it gets easier. Lots of writer’s are like you in that sense. Then one day they just find it to be second nature. You have the talent, you lack the refinement and that’s exactly what the second, third or even fourth draft is all about.” Borden pointed out.
“True. It’s just that the story line wasn’t supposed to follow just one character. I wrote Kitchen Life to show how complicated situations in every day life can be complicated and that seems to be getting lost.” Warren whined.
“If you want insight into the human condition through fiction then I would suggest taking that first draft and making it into a novel, but for right now think of the money.” Borden suggested.
“Money you say? I love money!” Warren perked.
“I do as well, so let’s make some money! Finish this draft and get it back to me. Now, what are you doing this evening?”
“Haven’t really put much thought into it.” Warren admitted.
“Nine Inch Nails just lost their venue and Trent was wondering if I wanted to grab some beers tonight while he is in town. Would you care to come?”
“Trent Reznor? Hell yes!” Warren beamed.
“Cool, I’ll come grab you around 6:30. Be ready to go.” Borden directed.
“I won’t let you down.” Warren said exuberantly.
***
I assume this is your own writing.
ReplyDeleteI like it. Two [and a half] things caught my attention, though.
When writing dialogue between two friends, you don't need to write like you're writing a formal letter. They can banter, they can use abreviations.
e.g. So... You two are still not talking I see.
Would he really say it like that? Or would he say it more like So... You two still not talking, hm? OR You two still aren't talking, eh? (what would he 'see' to suggest they aren't talking?)
side note- when you (author) talk to the reader you can say 'as you might expect' instead of 'as one might expect' it depends on how deep a narrator you as the author are.
you don't need to add a verb or adverb to the end of every line of dialogue. It doesn't scan as well if you have to read 'Warren retorted' or 'Borden directed.' Use them, sure, but in moderation. If you don't want blocks of pure dialogue, add some action sentences in there. '[pause dialoge] Borden leaned against his desk and looked at his friend, slumped over in his chair, hands on temples rubbing methodically [and begin dialogue again..]'
I like the idea behind it though, it makes me want to go back and find exerpts 1 - 9!