The Mood, The Way and The Consumer

We are taught to believe in organization from a very young age. Our parents try to teach us about putting our clothes away, our school engineer us to believe that society has structure. Religion instructs us that we will burn in hell if we don't wear nice suits to church and Wal-Mart always seems to have the lowest price guaranteed!

I think consumerism should be considered a religion. I really do! Think about the parallels here! You have a guy that sits in a room upstairs and watches everything you do via closed circuit television. You have employees that act like clergy, and claim to know the way to your shopping salvation. They even gather a collection through highly trained cashiers! Now to me, this sounds like a religion!

And do you ever notice that all religions have unofficial slogans? Christianity's is The greatest story ever told! Now... That slogan should tell you something... It's just that! A story! A fucking fairy tale to scare weak minded individuals into subversion. That's all! The motto for Consumerism could be: "Money is God, product salvation and department stores the devil!"

Yes folks department stores are Satan! "Why do you say that Andy?" You mean besides the fact that you can wander aimlessly in them for hours, like a lost soul looking for salvation? "Oh please Lord, please let me find that last item... I don't know what it is but I want it so! I just know it'll save my eternal soul!"

"But Andy! Where does the organization fit into all of this?" Well goddamn it, I don't know! Naturally I would assume the shelves, but I could be over analyzing it.

Another thing that has always stuck me as odd is the unnatural way that employees everywhere can't be seen either buying or consuming the companies products. Maybe it's that critical thinking that's interfering with my consumeristic nature, but, it would seem to me that you would want your employees to promote your produt! "take your uniform off while your eating John, and put a goddamn smile on yor face!"

That's something else I've never understood... The Good Mood Policy. Don't even pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about! For those of you smart enough not to have a job, let me explain it to you how this policy works. The ideal employee is apparently supposed to be in a good mood at all times while at work. You could have just witnessed a guy getting his head blowen off with a 12 gauge shot gun while walking to work, but as soon as you enter the door to your job... All negitivity is null and void... How fucking unnatural is that? Sorry, but I'm what some would call human, and I tend to have bad days as well as good ones. I just witnessed a horrific act and I may need a few moments to compose myself.

They say that a good team is like a well oiled machine. No, a vibrator is a well oiled machine! A bukakke is a team effort, a vibrator needs human guidence to produce an end result. Maybe I'm not supposed to understand the conentation here, but it would seem to me that employers don't think these mantras could be misconsqued as sexual harassment.