Warning: Writing has side effects!

It was Sunday evening. No one was around. The city felt like there has just been an outbreak of a new plague. I wondered the streets aimlessly for three hours in search of something to do to entertain myself. The most active place I came across was a coffee shop. There were about 15 people who looked as bored as I did. Amazing how uncreative we are as a race. I guess that is why Church is held on Sunday mornings. It seems the only viable resource to meet people.

After the three day drinking binge it would seem I had no money. I somehow managed to find $2.50 in my pocket for the coffee. I took a seat at the window. It somehow felt wrong that there was nobody walking around with any sort of purpose. Most of the people I know were in bed, or still at work. Alex called earlier, but I feel uneasy around her. It's not that she is creepy or unattractive, I think it's the vibe she gives off. It's sort of a I want to make you jealous to make you want me kind of thing. At some point maybe I'll want her, but not at this point in time. I need a focus. A career maybe? This is what I reflected on.

Work had been very boring lately. It seems I spend more money working then I would if I weren't. I ponder why writing has a such a valid place in my life. Every time I actual sit down and write out an article, it seems I don't accomplish anything. Just passing time. It's not just with writing I feel this way about. Kitchen work always does this to me. Feeling worn out, feeling a loss of self, feeling of missing something greater in my life. All of these thoughts stirred in my head! Goddamn thoughts.

"HEY!" She said in a commanding voice. It was Alex. Funny how these things always tend to happen. I blew her off to sit alone and be miserable. Somehow she ended up seeing me anyway. Goddamn coincidence. She slide into the seat across from me and asked why I hadn't called her back. I simply replied that I was supposed to meet Matt here. It was a lie. I had no intentions of seeing anyone. Looking at this from hindsight, misery loves company.

The music was blasting at the bar. There was no one here save for the 5 of us that had just walked in. Alex had talked me into coming out. Goddamn the noise, and goddamn her. The more she tried to brighten my spirits, the more I felt worse. By the end of the first song I tried to leave. It wasn't happening. Around 12:30 am more people started to show up. I thought it a bit strange that a bar would be open Sunday night, but I guess they also need to generate some revenue.

I was able to sneak out under the radar while the remaining four joined another small group of three. I lied and said I was going to use the washroom. As I opened the back door the bouncer reminded me I would have to wait in line to get back in. I found this almost comical due to the lack of business. The weather was almost freezing, and it was lightly raining. I walked in a sort of hurried fashion towards the front of the bar and to my van.

I opened my door, slide in, turned the key and put it in reverse. I almost hit a cop car that was stopped a little to close behind my van, but I managed to get out of the stall with centimeters to spare! It was a small victory. I raced home.

Determined to find some sort of purpose to why I felt so useless and shitty I began to write on my blog. Instead of useful and/or insightful thoughts, I seemed to excel at writing down utter gibberish. Jesus I felt like an emo kid! I wanted nothing more then to be shot in the back of the head for writing emotional garbage. (I did however come up with a new look: The Cry Cry Die Stare. Extremely useful for when someone is yelling at you to show dominance, it pretty much is more patronizing then submissive.) I decided I should check my email.

I have recently began reading "The Game" by Niel Strauss. It is a humorous book and has pretty much ruined my life as bad as WoW. Although I am now in a PUA support group, I have yet to find God. I have also joined his fan mail club to gain some better insight on the dynamics of how to become a writer for Rolling Stone or some other magazine, however I just get emails of how to become an alpha male. I also recieved a few emails from his mentor and friend Mystery. Both are generic and serve to answer many questions men have about picking up women. I decided to respond to both of them:

TO: "Neil Strauss"

SUBJECT: What Separates A Winner From A Loser Is... A Career?

Hello Style, (Mr. Strauss),
I'm A. Warren. I wish to share some personal information with you. A. Warren as you may have already guessed is my somewhat alias. It is a point of interest that Warren and Johnson are technically part of my real name. The reasoning behind using part of my real name is simple, (as are most things in my life), it is to illustrate the effectiveness to hide in plain sight. In the past month I have realized my full potential with a little help from my friends D*** and M***. All they did was simply enhance my personal mythos.

Now as a writer, you of all people will understand the need for a mythos. It seems to serve not only as a moral compass, but also points one to the direction your life should take. This email is not about my quest for women. I come in under the radar enough and have the potential to become a PUA, however I do not feel this to be the right time for that. As a 24 year old male, I seem to be lacking something I feel I should already have. Well... Technically I do have, yet am unable to cash in on. The need is for a slightly different game then the one described in your book. It's the career game.

As you already could have guessed, I want to be a writer. In order to be a good writer they must:

A.) Be able to observe, and absorb surroundings. Research all possible resources.

B.) Be able to keep track of facts and expirences to present in a purposful and enriched 2-D eviroment.

Both of these things I am able to do. What I simply lack is a possibility of oppertunity. I understand the fact that you personally have taken what you learned with your time as a PUA and applied it to your everyday life. I would love to be able to do that. I don't however share the same expirence of hanging out with PUAs and find it slightly awkward to put the dynamics of gaming into a career light. Which leads me enevitably back to the need for a mythos. By creating this mythos of myself as a writer I have lost sight of what I need to accomplish in order to be able to meet my ultimate goal. I'm sure you get these types of emails all the time, (and I really don't mean to waste your time), but I just have a simple question: How do I create windows of oppertunity with magazine or newspaper publisher?

TO: "Mystery"

SUBJECT: URGENT SENSITIVE INFORMATION (from A. Warren)

Hey Mystery,
It's A. Warren. So you heard of my gaming skills? I doubt it greatly as I am fairly new to this whole game thing. I appreciate the gesture you have shown, yet I am nowhere near being a PUA as of yet. This requires time, and I have been unable to fully commit myself to the "game" as your respective community has come to know it. Now that the secret of my non-puaness is out, I will let you in on some of my secrets.

Total Time Spent: 50h, (thus far)
Total Score: 47
Sticking Points: Unafraid of approach. C.O.A. almost all of the time. Able to exract personal information w/o asking.
Negative Self Restraints: S.A.S. Bored easily. Hates people.

That about sums up my gaming xp. You don't need to send me generic emails about how game you are. I know. Your a pro. However, if you wish to actually talk to me, you may email me and chat. Unlike Style, Papa or any of the others you have taught to become PUAs, I'm comfortable with the basics at this point. Maybe someday I to will be a PUA, however for the time being, I'm much more interested in setting my career path towards writing. I hope I have cleared up any confusions that may have occured from this email. I wish you all the best, and may the seduction force bring you joy for years to come.

With regards,
- A. Warren Johnson

These are my actual emails. No editing. No falsifications. The open and honest truth. (As of yet I haven't recieved any responses back from either Neil or Mystery, but rest assure that when I will at least let you know.) After I sent these messages I immediatly stopped feeling that personal self doubt. What they did was help once again re-enforce my personal myth. I have been laying the foundation to a legacy, and one day I will reach my full potential, but until then I will just keep building. Piece by piece. Peace.