Celebrity Email: Tommy Wisaeu

Dear Tommy,

I have recently heard about your film The Room, and with my deepest regrets, have to inform you that I will not be viewing it at any point in my life. While I have no doubts what-so-ever that you have indeed made a fine (I use this word very, very loosely) film, I just cannot bring myself to watch it. However, I do have a few quick questions that are imperative to know. Naturally, for my own piece of mind.

First off, what inspired such a work (trust me, there are other words I would use, but I do try and keep C.E. at a PG-13 rating)? As this film is clearly without artistic merit, I am genuinely curious.

My second question has to do with the writing aspect. Did you raise the money to make The Room first, then decide to write the script? Because if that's the case, it would explain the major plot holes (even though I didn't see the film, I was curious enough to read the screenplay), the awkward and poorly developed dialogue, and the strange sex scenes that took up no less than eight pages! Why Tommy, why? Why does a sex scene need to be eight pages long? Furthermore, was there even a second, third or even fourth draft of the script? I'm not sure if you know the process of screenwriting works, but multiple drafts are there to iron out the kinks! Good rule of thumb when writing, always make drafts, and unless you are making an adult title, keep the sex scenes to a page-- page and a half maximum.

Well Tommy, I am all out of questions. Thanks for taking the time to read (which I know might be a little hard for you, as the clips from The Room can attest to) this letter.

Your-- biggest, non-fan? (I think that would be correct),

-A. Warren Johnson

PS- Those people that laugh at the screening of The Room-- They're not exactly laughing with you . . . Sorry, I hate to break that to you.