Dear Brad Pitt,
I keep seeing you everywhere I go! I guess your a big deal eh? (Sorry, I always type with a Canadian accent). I just have a few quick questions for you. First of all I was wondering why you prefer the flat cap to other types of hats? You wear it well enough, yet I find it a little odd that a sex symbol would choose it over say a fedora.
Next I was pondering who did you prefer to be inside, Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie? I mean both of them are all right, but you sir are a sex symbol!!! Why would you settle for only okay when you could have outstanding? Seriously sir, you have Captain James T. Kirk status! Well except there are no kinky alien girls, but you of all people should know what I am talking about.
Last question is a little more personal, so I would not be offended if you do not answer it. Do you think that having adopted children has hampered you from wanting your own biological kids? I know it has become fashionable in Hollywood to have kids that are not only not yours, but are also from different countries. I mean do you really need one from every part of the world when you do not have one from your own genetic strain? Anyway, I know you must be very busy trying to dodge the paparazzi so I would like to thank you for your time you have taken out to read this meager letter.
Mad props in every language,
-A. Warren Johnson
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