Any Place But Here

     It was the first of the month, rent was due and I had drunk it away last weekend. The only thing I could think of to do was to run from this retched den of scum and villainy known as Prince George. Where to? It didn't matter; any place but here. I called Jimmy, told him to pack some clothes and that I would be over in an hour to pick him up. I jumped in my van, put on the radio and turned up the volume:

Run down, run.
Where it leads,
Your compelled to follow.

Run down, running free,
Running down the road you've been before.

Run down, run.
Planting little seeds,
Would you not wallow?

Run down, running free,
Running down the road you've been before.
Run down, running free,
Running toward the goal you've been, Lord.

Run down, run.
Fibers, jeans and beads,
Tearing 'round the hollow.

Run down, running free,
Running down the road you've been before.
Run down, running free,
Running toward the goal you've been, Lord.

Running toward the goal you've been, oh Lord.

      By the time Jimmy and I got to Grande Prairie, it was early morning. The dawn was breaking and my eyes burned. Jimmy was passed out in the passenger seat. I wish it was me who was asleep at the moment, however, Jimmy never bothered to get a driver's license; an unfortunate pain in the ass.
We pulled into Ulrich's apartment parking lot. I pulled into an empty stall close to where Ulrich was parked.   I got out and let the door slam shut. Jimmy jumped and looked at me. I mouthed, "We're here" to him and he also got out of the van.
      We lit up a couple of cigarettes and sat on the back bumper of the van, quietly at first, but soon a conversation arose.
      "How long have I been out?"
      "A while. Probably two-- two and a half hours. Pretty boring driving with someone who's sleeping."
      "I bet. So Ulrich's cool with me staying here the night?"
      "He said he was. Him and Salina are probably sleeping though, so we need to be quiet."
      "You need to be quiet," a chuckle, "you're the one who's loud."
      "Good point."
      I already began to regret this move. If I stayed, then I could have gone back to the college for another semester, since I left, I was pretty much stuck here. No job, no girlfriend and no dog. Just unrolling fields populated with rigs and a spread out mess of a town.
      Oh Canada.
     "-- and we need to be up at five."
     "Sorry, what?"
     "I said, it is three forty-five-ish and we need to be up at five."
     "Yeah. Maybe we should drink through."
     We laughed, but the sad fact was, we probably would have drunk through the night if we had gotten into Grande Prairie earlier in the day.

* * * 

     July 5th 2010
     Surprise, sur-fucking-prise, the cunt running S.P.M. hired two other guys to take our places. Fuck, I hate people. I hope the cunt (Bruce or something else that fucking fruity) spills some corrosive on the crotch of his pants. Going to look for something else, probably end up back in a goddamn kitchen.

* * * 

Lapse, synapse, spilling the rare,
Lemon-guards the maiden fare.
Remember then this summer air,
Where winters last, a season's despair.

Some to do, some who won't,
Rabblers Manchurian goat.

Left behind the fence, or wall,
To spring the fall of consumerist hall.
Fashion then comes close to all,
With nothing, no one, left to call.

The tidings and well wishings,
Came to realize what was meant.
They're worthless, resorting,
They are useless as one cent—

     I paused the video when Ulrich came into the room.
     "What the hell are you watching?"
     "I dunno, some anti-Bush song."
     "Oh, there seems to be a lot of those these days."
     "Yup. I really hope he gets kicked in the balls, or face, on his last day as president. It would bring joy to millions."
     Ulrich snickers, "Yeah, it would be good. Want to go get some coffee?"
     "I dunno what I want. A job would be good so that I could buy coffee once in a while."
     "You need to get out of the house and apply for that to happen." Ulrich stated only half joking.
     Twenty minutes later we were standing in line at Tim Hortons. I was dressed in my Ghostbusters costume I made last year. Ulrich was wearing shorts and a t-shirt. The contrast was pretty stark, and since we were having a fairly serious conversation (mostly about his wedding and what the best man and I would be wearing), people were looking at me; probably wondering if they should laugh or stare silently. Ulrich and I made our way to the front counter.
     I got a sudden pain in my left Achilles tendon and shifted quickly in hopes that it would go away, no luck, however I managed to hit a small child in the head with the home made proton pack that was hanging off my back.
     After apologizing profusely to the now laughing parents, Ulrich and I ordered our coffees and left.

* * * 

     July 9th 2010
     Jimmy and I were out all day plastering resumes at every place we could. Over all the day was pleasant. Around three or so I began getting lazy and resorted to just leaving my resume in random spots around the stores we visited. Like a bad Canadian novel, I feel bored, isolated and lonely. I'm trying to keep my mind off it. I've been reading a chapbook called Invisible Symmetry. Pierce gave me a copy because he thought I would enjoy it. So far it's really good. Not entirely sure what is going on in the story, but it has given me something to do so I don't get too stir crazy.

* * * 

     Four am, Ulrich is up and in the shower. He has to be outside for five. He works as a Frac'er. I have no idea what a Frac'er does, but Ulrich has been telling me that I should be harassing the rig companies to hire me as a Frac'er.
     "Think of it as Warcraft. Your profession would be like alchemy if you get on working in the chemical shed. If you were running tube, it would be like a repeatable daily quest--"
     This made sense to me; even though I hadn't played for the two months before running out here.

* * * 

     July 12th 2010
     My goals, I don't know how else to define them, so here is a list:
- Quit drinking: So far I have managed this with minimal discomfort.
- Get a decent job: This may seem easy, but it's not; some asshole always making promises.
- Eventually go home: I want to be able to sex up my girlfriend, pet my dog, finish school. These seem to be the things I'm most concerned with.
- Finish writing, and publish a book. Maybe I'll revisit some older work at some point.

* * * 

     Well they give me all kinds of advice. Designed to enlighten me
     Jimmy and I were driving around, drinking coffee, listening to John Lennon. We passed by a youth correctional centre and Jimmy said, "That's where the bad kids go." We both laughed as the chorus kicked in.
     I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round
     It was another hot, windy day. Earlier I felt like I was getting vertigo sitting on the small deck of Ulrich's apartment. Like John Lennon's song (released in 1981 after he was shot and killed by Mark Chapman), I was just sitting and watching fields of wheat across from the apartment building wave in the wind.

* * * 

     July 15th 2010
     Was walking around the strangely spaced strip mall across the street from Ulrich's apartment. I really want a Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger's costume to hand out resumes in. Reason for this? It would make me unforgettable and increase my chances of being hired.
     Met a few biker's from BC (it was good to see some BC boys, even though 80% of the people living in Grande Prairie are from my home town), and helped stop a shoplifter from making it too far from the liquor store he had just stolen a 26 of Crown Royal.
     This made me want a Power Ranger's costume even more; or at the very least, to make myself a costume and go out at night to attempt to stop crimes.

* * * 

As above, so below.
Simple things, we all know.

In the night, the darkness beats.

Someone walks to a car,
Even now the darkness beats,
Eventually kicks the glass, a scar!

I look down the street,
The wind picks up, a mighty blow.

* * * 

     "I need to get the fuck out of here." I said to Jimmy, while we walked around downtown Grande Prairie. It had been three weeks since we arrived here and I still hadn't found a job. I was almost out of ways to entertain myself.
     We walked by a small bistro style restaurant and we saw a server who looked like our friend Garcia waiting tables. Jimmy had been hired at Tony Roma's as a line cook.
     "Just get a kitchen job. You know what you're doing, and you'll probably get a raise after two weeks."
     "That's just it, Jimmy, I don't want another fucking kitchen job. There is more to life then filtering the world through a pass-bar."
     We walked past a tattoo shop. Jimmy opened the door and walked in.
     "Yeah, but you're getting broke, so just find a kitchen job for right now and look for something else."
     "Like what?"
     "Well you have a better shot at gettin' on the rigs then I do. You at least have a driver's license."
     I rolled my eyes, "Good for me."
     The girl who owned the shop looked up from tattooing a hipster's forearm.
     "I'm sorry, I don't do drop ins" she stated in a monotone drone.
     "That's okay, we wouldn't want to be tattooed by you anyway." I say, and then I walk out.
    She sets her gun down and follows me outside.
     "Hey fuck you! I wouldn't want to tattoo you anyway you piece of shit!" She walks back in, and Jimmy walks out.
     "Man, fuck that place." Jimmy says to me.
     I laugh as I light a cigarette.

* * * 

     July 22nd 2010
     I can't fucking take this place anymore. I should have stayed in Prince George; at least I had a job there. The only good thing about this past week was the street festival this past weekend. Ulrich's son had come up with his mom and I spent most of the day with him, as Ulrich and his mom were discussing his wedding in September.

* * * 

     July 26th 2010
     Thursday, I had two interviews, one at Boston Pizza for a serving position, one at Princess Auto for a supervisor position. Both places I just left my resumes laying around in random locations in the stores.
     I got two calls back later in the day, both telling me the same thing: "Sorry, but we feel that we do not require someone with your qualifications. However, please feel free to re-apply in six months."
     It was at this point I started to panic.
     'What do I do? Stay here, unemployed and miserable, or pack up my shit and go home, be employed, miserable at my job, but be with my girlfriend and my dog?'

* * * 

     July 28th 2010
     I finished reading Monster by A. Lee Martinez, and Heaven Is Small by Emily Schultz today. It is amazing how fast one can read when there is nothing to do. I really should just finish writing that goddamn book.

* * * 

     It was nearing the first of the month, and I had been walking around the brown bricked college a few blocks away from Ulrich's place. It was sunny, hot and only slightly windy that day. I was taking photographs of myself at different areas outside the college. While this college looked huge, it wasn't. The hallways were narrow, and the library was the size of a classroom. It wasn't a college I was considering going to.
     After about an hour, I realized just how isolated I felt in Grande Prairie. This city had no room for me, and I had no love for this city. I decided I was going to leave.
     When I talked to Ulrich and told him I needed to go, he tried to talk me out of it.
     “My wedding is months away, why not just stay here, find a job and get a place with Jimmy for one fucking month?”
    Ulrich knew it would be useless, once I had something in my head; it is very rare that I change my mind. The next morning I moved all my stuff back into my van. By eight am my van was fully loaded, and by 6 pm, I was back in Prince George.