Celebrity Email: Angry Video Game Nerd

Dear AVGN,

I have recently come across your youtube channel and have found it particularly entertaining. No video is complete without; DIY filmmaking techniques; horrible digital effects, and a plethora of memorable characters.

With that said, I have a few questions. I have heard rumors about another game reviewer that is basically a poorly executed clone of your character. Have you ever thought to review one of this hacks reviews, while reviewing a game? Since I have never seen a video by this guy-- I don't know how bad he really is-- it would be most delightful to see you rip into this guy. The rants by AVGN fans about this hack are quite well done and remind me of your Zelda time line video.

I was also wondering what it is like meeting (and surviving) the greatest slasher stars of pop culture? I have never seen anything like that before! How did you do it? And what where you thinking? Most people survive one horror film, but you have survived four of the creepiest and sinister films icons of the nineteen-eighties!

Lastly, I was wondering about your alter ego. What is his name? I mean I know he has the power of Super-Mecha-Death-Christ (whatever version he may be at the time), but why does your (S)NES accessory sporting hero not have a name? And why doesn't he throw Sonic Booms and Hadōkens? Furthermore, why does he have so many buttons to choose from? I mean seriously, your alter ego is a jumbled mess of controls! He has buttons on his back; on the two power gloves; buttons on the Super Scope, buttons, buttons and more buttons! Isn't it a little ironic that you complain and rant about bad controls, yet your alter ego has the worst controls of all the "shitty" games and consoles that you have ever reviewed?

Anyway AVGN, thanks for reading this little fan letter and good luck with all your future bad game reviews. Your not so angry supporter,

-A. Warren Johnson

PS- When are you planning on reviewing ET?

Celebrity E-Mail: Farah Fawcett/Micheal Jackson

Dear Late Farah & Micheal,

It's tragic that you both died yesterday. However I feel that there are a few things that have been left unexamined by both of your deaths. First off I was wondering if you Micheal were jealous of Farah's sex symbol status? Did the news of her death prompt you to drop dead and steal her thunder? If so, that was really selfish on your part Mr. Jackson.

Next question is for you Farah, in your cancer treatments did you ever look back and think about all that you have accomplished in the 62 years you lived? You certainly managed to keep the lime light going well past your first 15 minutes, and that is amazing! Also on a side note, will Micheal and you be having a celebrity death match in the afterlife for him stealing your thunder? My money will be on you if it does happen as I wouldn't want to fight one of Charlie's Angels.

Finally my last question to both of you is how will you both be dressed at your funerals? As you both are now spiritual beings I was wondering if you Micheal will be in your Thriller Jacket and signature glove, and if you Farah will be in your sexy sleek uniform issued by Charlie, or will you just be in jeans and t-shirts for the service, or will you both be naked haunting each others respective chapels? I think the latter would be much more news worthy and look forward to seeing how these events transpire.

Farah, you'll always be on my mind,
-A. Warren Johnson

Micheal, you'll always creep me out,
-A. Warren Johnson